Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
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Top comments
holagranola 15
maybe you should explain to her that toasters, are for toast.
The_Weirdo 10
74. commenting fail?
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Comments (140)
DaM_iM_sO_nY 2
Now you know the plan mom is try to burn the house down cuz you won't leave .......
liy223 6
kudos to her for creativity.
hiyourcute 0
That is ridiculously disgusting
fukher 0
nasty
matt0794 1
why the toaster? out of all kitchen appliances? just...why?
jackiemoonthepro 5
beats the blender
mea_iloveskiing 26
make her some toast :)
stargirl528 0
haha yees (;
Snafuusmc 12
how does this person deserve it?This makes no sence.
lulututu 4
For not cleaning the bottom more often :)
thetrollyoulike 6
*sense*... sorry... I had to don't hit me.
my2centsworth 15
She's trying to kill the smell from when your cat used it for a litter box.
Privations_fml 0
Mmmmm... toast with a nice buttery, tar spread. All the goodness of COPD and emphysema without the hassle of smoking. That's ******* disgusting.
pink_raindrops 26
Exactly my thought. As soon as I read this I was instantly disgusted. I really hope they hardly use the toaster which is why noone has noticed until now. There are so many chemicals in the filters, not to mention all the tar and everything else from the cig. itself. I have a feeling that if anyone did eat toast from there, they would notice the horrible taste and probably get quite sick that day.
BigOrca 2
that's gross. how did ur toast taste?