Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
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Top comments
holagranola 15
maybe you should explain to her that toasters, are for toast.
The_Weirdo 10
74. commenting fail?
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Comments (140)
rhysfucker 24
so leave that trailer park; get a brighter tomorrow..
NastyNinja31 0
who the **** puts peanut buter on toast
erikaa1123 4
A lot of people..?
goldhighways 0
gross.
FruitSalad4225 0
PROTIP: Put some Nutella on whatever you're toasting. You won't give a damn.
pan1cked 0
this.
ceddyz17 10
alitlle marb with your toast
soulfulemo 0
mhhm. now that's a good breakfast
FMLsOhilarious 6
Okay, that's disgusting. Cigarettes are gross in the first place but now they're with your toast? Double EW!!!!
XxSonyaBlade10xX 1
It's called spring cleaning!! Don't you check the toaster before using it make food!?!?
kirbysmiles 0
mmmm cigarette flavoured toaster strudels. now with more nicotine!