Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
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Top comments
holagranola 15
maybe you should explain to her that toasters, are for toast.
The_Weirdo 10
74. commenting fail?
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Comments (140)
fmlmaster44 0
gross
jenjen0146 7
I am sorry but this HAS to be made up. there is no flipping way you couldn't smell them inside the toaster. if they are unfiltered I could see this as maybe possibly plausible but I still think this is a HUGE load of bullshit you made up just so you could post an fml
jebusandme 1
I'd be more happy that the toaster didn't burst into flames, than that my toast tastes a little ashy around the edges
catanita 18
Don't you clean your toaster once in a while?
Raaxeeso_saaxiib 5
Thank her for giving your toast that.....smokey flavor >_
totalprincess323 1
Eww
Filthy_Animal 25
WTF??? your mother is insane!!!
Cynical_D_Luffy 10
Is that why your toast is so addicting?
fantasyworld 39
Gross.