Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML
Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
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Top comments
StingRay1971 1
check for STDs
Tubasaurus 0
If you just had spontaneous sex with the guy expecting him to suddenly fall in love with you then I can't feel sorry for you. Sex is not a contract nor is it protection from stupid assholes being stupid assholes.
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Comments (198)
devildog_angel23 0
that's sad.
Failurewithacapi 0
Hey I'm a boy(12), no need to callus assholes, it depends on the group of society your in, Jocks-bad Average-ok Nerd-unknown because noone cares(sort of)and that's me Why? Just because look around and notice the people you date and there place.
GDI 0
Nerd - awesome because you'll end up working for us one day. Just because someone's a nerd doesn't mean they can't look good pal. Dude - being able to fix a computer with ease and being able to lift 300 pounds is the best of both worlds - trust me.....
lmmmr 0
Ahh, life from the perspective of a child.
NNNOM 1
yeah right. you're describing a bad teenage movie. actual life/high school isn't like that.
lovelykendra5 0
******* sucks. Listen to #1, please (:
anonymous1116 0
That really sucks. To all the people insulting her and saying she shouldn't have slept with an asshole: He was the "guy of her dreams" so I'm guessing he didn't seem like (or she couldn't see that he is an) asshole. And I'm guessing she wasn't hoping for true love by sleeping with him, but she wasn't expecting such a slap in the face either.
lm_wfc 0
odesnt take sherlock to spot someone like that. she was dumb. feel bad for you, but YDI for 'guy of your dreams'
cygnus12345 0
YDI for having sex with him remember that oh so famous quote: "Sex can wait- **********!" lol I can't really remember where that is from...
meddude 0
says the virgin
crzymonkeyxo 0
Wats wrong with being a virgin? waiting to have it with someone who matters is way better then having it with random douche bags
meddude 0
i was just stating a fact. i don't deny, giving it away to a douchebag is a terrible idea. but it seemed more that #32 was putting down people who have lost it already.
cwalk50 2
virgins FTW! I'm perfectly fine with not having given it up to someone who doesn't mean anything to me
nemesis_divina 0
THIS.
GDI 0
You must have some real SUCKY dreams then.......
onealhart54 0
maybe from admirement
onepctech 0
catch the HIV virus and sleep with him again. that wii teach him.
heyyou1203 0
lol while i sort of giggled at your comment (although getting revenge is hardly worth it for having to live with HIV after, IMO) it's redundant to say "HIV virus." Don't you know what the V stands for?
Mulada 0
Dammit, Captain Planet decieved me! Damn you, Ted Turner! (Seriously, they actually said HIV virus. Can't blame 'dis dude for making the mistake)
zzaacchh 0
I didn't think 12 year-olds were allowed to use the internet... Tell him you have AIDS; that'll teach him.
regalarius 0
#38: Look again, 12 year olds are *taking over* the Internet.