Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML
Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
StingRay1971 1
check for STDs
Tubasaurus 0
If you just had spontaneous sex with the guy expecting him to suddenly fall in love with you then I can't feel sorry for you. Sex is not a contract nor is it protection from stupid assholes being stupid assholes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
morgan020 0
hahahaha I'm sorry but that's the first thing that comes to mind. the second is that boys are jerks find a real man then don't jump into bed with him at a party. one night stands are not cool and don't do anything but hurt you beacause girls always seem to be more attatched than the guys. so don't be surprised when the boy turns out to be scum.
souldrifter 0
Try not to be upset by it. Your life is F'ed only if you let it be. Face it: in life, most people are selfish jerks out for themselves... which is why finding someone very cool and emotionally mature is such a joyous occurrence. Look at it this way: did you enjoy yourself that night? If yes, then you got something out of it, too. If he's going to be an immature jerk, write him off. You used him to get your rocks off, so you can't lose... he can be a jerk now, but that one night was great, so try to reframe it that way. If the sex sucked, well... then I dunno what to tell ya.
pelican2 0
How is he being immature? he was at a party, and he made a decision that he regrets, most likely because OP approached him while he was drunk and pressured him into sex (rape) , and now he is mad at himself because he slept with OP who is most likely an antisocial mess.
meddude 0
uhhh if you'll notice, lordofthehobos didn't type anything except "I agree with #14". and he IS #14. chill.
killabee 0
YDI, obviously he was drunk and you took advantage,... if this had been the other way around, he would be labeled a rapist, and you wouldn't have just posted "can't believe whose dick was stuck in me" but probably filed a police report. Drunk does not equal consent. Consider yourself lucky, female=embarrassed on aim, male=RAPIST.. You Suck.
lmmmr 0
Umm... no. You are an ignorant fool.
Emma_91 0
Nowhere in the post does the OP say either of them was drunk. Maybe he got caught up in the moment. The point is, you can't know what happened. And assuming shit just makes you look like an ignorant dumbfuck.
cough 0
hahahha pwned sorry, but YDI for giving it up to the "boy of your dreams" at a party instead of with someone with whom you have an actual relationship with learn from this mistake.
mc0carrie 0
it doesn't exactly mean he's talking about you.
xFenix81x 0
I agree with #94. Keep your legs closed.
katielynnnnn 0
boy? aim? what are you, twelve?
SweetTea90 0
Wow. Hun. That's really sad. Recommend the following: 1.) Take care of yourself. 2.) Don't hook up especially with a guy like him and well just don't it at all. 3.) Keep your legs closed. after those two recommendations you should be fine
SweetTea90 0
Well three recommendations
ellbtvsvm 0
Er...what? Plenty of people use AIM lol.