Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML
Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
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Top comments
StingRay1971 1
check for STDs
Tubasaurus 0
If you just had spontaneous sex with the guy expecting him to suddenly fall in love with you then I can't feel sorry for you. Sex is not a contract nor is it protection from stupid assholes being stupid assholes.
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Comments (198)
grimmelok 0
YDI for being a ho. :[
joeydboy123 0
hooking up is not being a ho, you prudes
thatguyoverthere_fml 0
spoken like a true hoe.
Emma_91 0
A girl who has sex once is not a hoe. A hoe is someone who ***** pretty much everyone around her regularly.
Jebuz 0
Why is half this whole comment wall about some douche argument ? And not about the FML. And I though this was dumb. The And.
summer66_fml 0
maybe he hooked up with other girls that night or the night before???
tranekfny 0
Hahahahahhaahhaa hoe
jjenniferr05 0
Of all the people commenting this, telling her to get self respect and not have one night stands. She's obviously young, and as a teenager, would you turn down 'the guy of your dreams' when you're rather drunk? He was probably extremely charming to her, to get her into bed. Talk about a way to lower the girls self esteem, jesus. Not only will she have learnt from that experience most likely, she'll be feeling extremely low about herself. Telling her shes a hoe, needs more self respect, smells like cheese and she deserved it is hardly going to help anyone... And its probably likely that half the people calling her a hoe, have had a one night stand atleast once.
pelican2 0
Turn down? i'm gonna call BS at that. The guy is obviously disgusted by her and the girl obviously desperate for the guy, so who do you think came after who?
Emma_91 0
Stop assuming shit. Maybe they were both drunk. Maybe he saw she liked him and he decided to get her into bed? You know none of the facts.
jjenniferr05 0
What am i assuming? I'm simply telling people, that a one night stand doesn't make the girl a ***** - and wouldn't anyone feel pretty low about themselves after thats said about them? So people saying that, is just gonna upset her more. It's shameful of people to do that, What exactly am i assuming? that she's young? Most young people use the term 'guy of my dreams' and she uses aim... sorry for using my intelligence, asshole.
Emma_91 0
The annoying thing about FML is that it doesn't say WHO you're replying to. That comment was to #168
SwampThing 0
Tell everyone he has a small thingie
rafa3085 0
well obviously u need to respect urself and not just have sex wit a guy juss like randomly no matter how much u like the guy.. u seriously cant expect the guy to respect you after that.
blahdsflksfd 0
You are ridiculous, you have sex with a guy at a party? Try getting married first and not being a *****.
nick17 0
YDI for having AIM