Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML
Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
StingRay1971 1
check for STDs
Tubasaurus 0
If you just had spontaneous sex with the guy expecting him to suddenly fall in love with you then I can't feel sorry for you. Sex is not a contract nor is it protection from stupid assholes being stupid assholes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
star_ver 0
Lmao, you must be mad ugly for him to say something like that. FYL for sure.
joeydboy123 0
i agree!
LordOfTheHobos 0
I agree with #14
puppyXluvz123 9
So you agree with agreeing to yourself??
39abc93 12
congratulations you got the joke
sbarre1 0
LOL. That's ******* funny. YDI. :)
ParadoxEngine 0
I do agree with those who have already stated that sex does not equal a relationship or 'troo wuv'. It does suck what he said about you and it's very hurtful to read such a thing. Vengeance will probably not dish out the way some would suggest but if you do feel like stooping to his level of maturity and jack-assery, may I suggest commenting on the sex itself 'so short, five minute man, etc' and his penis as being similar to a shriveled baby carrot? If you really want to be mean, say that you can't believe you spread open for a waste of oxygen.
Inked2009 0
YDI , you hooked up with him, you suffer the repercussions of your stupidity.
jollyjam1 2
YDI. "Hooking up" which equals a lack of true intimacy, ie. "casual sex". Exactly what did you expect from casual sex? It's sex between two nobodies who don't give a whig for one another. DUH!
heyyou1203 0
People can hook up w/ their boyfriends or girlfriends, it's just an ambiguous term for sexual activity. It can mean making out or sex or anything in between. what would you prefer, "Today I made sweet love with the man of my dreams..." Who says that?? Either way, there's nothing wrong with casually hooking up with someone you're not in a relationship, so long as you don't expect to start a relationship out of said hook up. Sex is fun! duh!
fermata 0
This is why hooking up with a-hole guys is, generally, a bad idea. Not saying that you shouldn't hook up, just that a little selectivity when it comes to having sex, even if in a totally casual context, is usually necessary to avoiding humiliation and hurt feelings, not to mention STDs.
SeaCoyote 0
HAHAHAHAHAH. You must be so ugly, skanky or fat that this boy is at the point of confusion as to why he would even **** you. You baffled his brain, he is now in disbelief of his own decision making capabilities. Congrats, your less than pleasant appearance/ sluttiness / fat gut is so appalling, it inspires epiphanies to those who sleep with you. FLI a hundred times over.
Emma_91 0
You're an idiot. GTFO
SweetTea90 0
Wow........ Well that's what you get for 1.) hooking up 2.) not taking care of yourself and 3.) you can do better.
toomuchinfamaysh 0
YDI simply for getting on AIM, who does that anymore?
cleoman 0
#24 FTW!!!
fyourlife33 0
exactly, why the hell are you on aim?
heyyou1203 0
Umm, most Americans use AIM as their main instant messaging program. Hate to break it to ya.
DSuarez94 0
sex does NOT equal love I know sex is awsome and everything but that doesn't mean that he is the guy of you dreams just because you guys had sex