Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML
Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML
Comforter
Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Damn you, Siri
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
Hangover
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
That one hot friend
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
Scoundrel
Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
Top comments
StingRay1971 1
check for STDs
Tubasaurus 0
If you just had spontaneous sex with the guy expecting him to suddenly fall in love with you then I can't feel sorry for you. Sex is not a contract nor is it protection from stupid assholes being stupid assholes.
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Comments (198)
AAAAHHHH12 2
Obviously, he wasn't really the boy of your dreams. Unless you're really into assholes like that. I'm pretty sure from your post that you're not. He was an asshole anyway. There are better guys out there for you anyway!
davidtheday 0
The "guy of her dreams" doesn't necessarily mean she was talking about his personality, too. It could just be a guy that has all the physical features she likes in a guy she wants to sleep with.
AAAAHHHH12 2
I realize that now, after i posted what i originally said. I would like to retract my last post on this particular FML. Haha :p
sb022 0
You should have had more respect for youself than to lay it out on your first get together. Send a comment to the the guys friends saying his breath smelled and has a small di**. NOT satisfying at all.
spamme 0
the "boy of my dreams" to teenage girlies are always those stupid and popular ones. they regret being with them when they become women though.
oceanman 7
he sounds like a man *****.
pelican2 0
She sounds like a woman who goes after drunk guys
anonymous18_fml 0
i can't believe you had sex w/ him at a party. yikes.
heythererebeccaa 0
you deserve it for being ugly
P_r_i_n_c_e_s_s_fml 0
1. hes obviously a twat so why you like him goes beyond me and 2. serves you right for having a one night stand at a party. classy... so classy(!)
pelican2 0
shes obviously a hoe and he was obviously drunk
deaditegirl 0
The "boy of your dreams?" Wow. Grow up and learn some self-respect. YDI.
derriduh 0
I'm sure you feel very hurt, but think about it- you feel hurt because of how he's behaving. Which just goes to show what a loser he is. Just because you're the person he's making fun of doesn't mean that you don't have the ability to call him out on how lame and disrespectful it is to **** someone he supposedly finds repulsive. Forget him, he sounds like a loser in all walks of life xoxo
pelican2 0
No, she sounds like the loser. its a party, so obviously the guy was drunk. and its " the guy of her dreams" so she was probably just begging him for sex, he gave in and now he regrets it. i feel sorry for the guy, he had a one night stand that he regrets, while shes just upset that he regrets it
Emma_91 0
So what, you're saying she raped him? If he regrets drunk sex, then he deserves it for being drunk. It's not the OP's fault that the man she likes ended up being a complete asshole.