Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. She said I could use it as an opportunity to “trim down.” I’m 130lbs and muscular. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML
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Top comments
muffinsareyummy 1
well at least she's supportive.
LauraAurora 0
If she was so worried about you getting fat, then she's gonna be in for a rude awakening after the baby pops out. Baby fat.
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Comments (135)
Weil 0
At least you're not getting fat.
greenfinch 0
...so? Your mom wasn't calling you fat, she was just saying it's part of the pregnancy. As a former beauty pageant winner, she obviously has an image to keep up with, so that's why she was concerned.
TheCashMan88 0
How does it feel to be a shallow, superficial bitch?
jessicaclaire 0
Why is her being a former Miss North Carolina relevant to this FML at all?
mobius8 0
Why would you assume she's not married? Or that she didn't use protection, seeing as there's no 100% safe method? Or that she didn't want to get pregnant? And the FML says nothing about whether or not the mother is going to be supportive or not and pregnant doesn't = fat you retard. No one wants to know about your shitty, inbred life so next time you feel the urge to share how you've managed to stay a scrawny little nerd by doing little more than sitting in front of your screen posting idiotic rants - don't.
mobius8 0
Seeing as white American kids have committed most mass school shooting, I guess by your logic they should be subject to biased searches as well, right? Your country supports and funds Israel's illegal occupation of Palestine, and their essential terrorism and outright murder of Paletstinian people, and did long before 9/11 so I don't think you have a leg to stand on when calling others terrorists.
copey 0
what did mentioning Miss North Carolina accomplish, other than letting everyone know your mom is shallow?!
izsy9667 0
wow, #2, your a real mother ******. ass hole. anybody else like him can just ride their mothers like an epic mount in WoW... congrats though!
inkedgeek 0
Does your mom take it in the fart box?
izsy9667 0
oh yeah, #69, do yoiu really think all children are accidents?? most likely ur pissed that she did this on purpose cause ur an accident from ur dads broken condom. you all make me sick to the stomach
shadowkin666 0
I don't think that's an fml. Everybody is fat when they're pregnant...