Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. She said I could use it as an opportunity to “trim down.” I’m 130lbs and muscular. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML
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Top comments
muffinsareyummy 1
well at least she's supportive.
LauraAurora 0
If she was so worried about you getting fat, then she's gonna be in for a rude awakening after the baby pops out. Baby fat.
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Comments (135)
Funky_T 0
ur mum`s a bitch...what`s her number? :D
laleona 0
wow your mom is ******* stupid.
meg525 0
how is this an FML? you WERE getting bigger, and because you hadn't told her yet, she thought you were getting fat. isn't that what anyone would think? and she was happy that you were pregnant? i would call this LUCKY.
Rach_star 0
Lmfao! I agree
sandy_paul_adopt 0
My wife and I have been trying to do a private adoption for almost a year. If adoption is a valid option for you we would love to talk with you and your daughter. We are a very loving couple who can help with the expenses and would be honored to have such a precious gift. Feel free to email us at [email protected] if you would like to exchange phone numbers.
Iellwen 12
Hey this is FML not some freaky online adoption site. Asking for a baby like that on the Internet just freaks people out!
cheerchick4life 0
atleast your mom was cool about it! mine wouldve killed me
juujuu00 0
what a 'nice mother'..... that's not something you say to your daughter!!
katiedoll6 7
Aww congratulations and ur mom can go f**k herself
newburton13 26
You mother is why feminists hate beauty pageants.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Well since she's a Miss North Carolina Winner, she wouldn't want her daughter to be fat or anything.