Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. She said I could use it as an opportunity to “trim down.” I’m 130lbs and muscular. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML
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Top comments
muffinsareyummy 1
well at least she's supportive.
LauraAurora 0
If she was so worried about you getting fat, then she's gonna be in for a rude awakening after the baby pops out. Baby fat.
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Comments (135)
Shyman4ever 0
Bullshit, your mom can't be a miss north Carolina winner.
potsie 0
n y is that?
HotSauce_fml 0
Well, if shes a former pageant winner than she's half retarded. You should expect this sort of thing by now.
xHaniffax 0
why is the fact that she's a former Miss North Carolina winner relevant to this FML?
mylyfsukswbu 0
How can you people not see how this is an FML? Her mother only cares about her looks. What if she were fat? It's not easy growing up in a family that only cares about how other look, and thats what she is trying to say.
aberfrog5 0
Congrats on having a baby. [: but your mom is shallow. :/ and #72 sucks donkey balls. :P
WeArePilotsx2 0
pimpin88, you are an abomination to society. Oh dear Lord, everything you said is so irrelevant to what you were actually trying to say. Don't post things to make you sound like some high-end intellectual when you've got the brain capacity of an ostrich.
elmangy 0
why did you have to mention the fact that she's a former Miss North Carolina winner? show-off.
Amkii 0
Guys, I think she mentioned her mom's a former Miss NC winner to show that she's shallow and only cares about the physical things in life, and is all about appearances. **** both your lives, OP. Sorry to hear about the baby AND your mom being a shallow jerk. If you WERE gaining weight, you could always lose it. A baby is permanent (unless you're to get an abortion) and is a life-altering experience in any case, whether or not you keep it. Best of luck to you (and tell your mom to start caring about the deeper aspects of things)!
emmazing_x 0
congratulations! also, fyl. sorry your mom is a bxtch. =/
doubleAbattery 0
There's a difference between fat and pregnant. That's all I'm gonna say.