Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. She said I could use it as an opportunity to “trim down.” I’m 130lbs and muscular. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
muffinsareyummy 1
well at least she's supportive.
LauraAurora 0
If she was so worried about you getting fat, then she's gonna be in for a rude awakening after the baby pops out. Baby fat.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
iFruit 0
This comment board isnt interesting anymore, its just sad. Lighten up, and stop getting off topic. Especially you, pimpin88. No offense, but your comments are sooo long and off topic and they really don't make any sense.
WithS 0
It dident really suck its just funny haha, your mom sounds pretty cool.
smpat04 0
Your mom is extremely superficial. I think I'm in love. Pics plz?
cantth1nk0fnam3 3
this isn't really an fml. the only fml part of this is that your mom is a shallow bitch, but other than that, i think your life is great considering your mom isn't a paranoid control freak that will imprison you in your own house and not let you hang out with your friends especially if it's a guy so that you won't get raped, pregnant, hit by a car while walking on the side walk, etc.
AlexZB 0
how is this an FML, this isn't even a MLIA!
gabygirl 0
Jahhahaathat made me laugh
Luzilla 0
Maternal love is just so sweet :P
SookMauNoots 0
ide still be relieved. that doesnt really matter
beaniebabe 0
why did you add the whole miss north Carolina tidbit?
x__lola 0
probably to prove that her mom was seemingly perfect at some point in her life && to add to the reason why she'd be so upset that her daughter was fat sad times. funny fml tho lmao.
theanonimouse 0
Weatherman? Sam Melville? Jane Alpert? Ringing any bells? The great majority of terrorist attacks on American soil have been perpetrated by white, "Christian" Americans. So how about you "think outside the box" for a minute and stop thinking, "LOLOMGZ BROWN PPL R BAD!"