Sex, Awkward, Contraception and Intimacy: Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was...

By theguy24 - 27/01/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 606

You deserved it 9 009

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Same thing different taste

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 740

You deserved it 987

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 868

You deserved it 6 333

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 384

You deserved it 6 023

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 802

You deserved it 8 688

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 245

You deserved it 2 767

By sad gf - 14/11/2010 20:29

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 810

You deserved it 5 851

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 795

You deserved it 4 723

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 305

You deserved it 9 613

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 477

You deserved it 11 454

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 259

You deserved it 3 172

Bunbu 8

Tuesday 24 February 2009 22:49

I think if I was with a guy and that happened, I'd ask if he wanted to cuddle until he was ready again. D: Also, she's a bitch.

yasmina212 1

Friday 13 February 2009 17:43

Congratulations on not breaking your dry spell.

Comments

HuDanny 0

Friday 20 March 2009 2:29

LOL@ 2

Epic_Fail_Sauce 0

Friday 20 March 2009 6:26

My girlfriend went to slip me a condom and i JIZZED. IN. MY PANTS! xDDDDD

MrWombastic 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 15:03

Wauw, dude.. that sucks for you man... One time a girl I had a mad crush on started to give me head for the 1st time, I couldn't hold it back and after about 30sec. I came.. She had the best reaction ever! She told me she took it as a compliment to her obvious skills. idk if it was a lie! sure as hell helped me past my embarresment and into round nr 2 which took more then long enough. so it doesn't have to b the end :) gl with that dry spell xD

mhwang 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 18:15

holy...crap...

zeroprojekt 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:38

Damn, that's rough. A little friendly advice - next time you know you've got a chance to dip your tip, why don't you go ahead and rub one out first. If you got a bullet in the chamber, it's definitely not on your side man, that one's gonna be ready to fire off when you least expect it. Just pre-game it and you should be better off shooting for the last quarter.

genius_man16 0

Monday 22 June 2009 23:43

lmao @ all the slang words that was awesome @OP: really? I've heard about premature ejaculation but....dayum

Had_Better_Days 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 20:51

Amen to 31...you cant go out with a loaded gun, someones bound to get hurt..only this time the gun backfired and hurt you! Clean the barrell out b4 you hit the town!

frayedwire 0

Friday 3 April 2009 13:23

I actually think he's lucky. My first time took 15 minutes. I've never had something release me that quickly. I think it'd be fun and I'm missing out.