Sex, Awkward, Contraception and Intimacy: Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was...

By theguy24 - 27/01/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 606

You deserved it 9 009

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Same thing different taste

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 740

You deserved it 987

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 868

You deserved it 6 333

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 384

You deserved it 6 023

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 802

You deserved it 8 688

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 245

You deserved it 2 767

By sad gf - 14/11/2010 20:29

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 810

You deserved it 5 851

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 795

You deserved it 4 723

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 305

You deserved it 9 613

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 477

You deserved it 11 454

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 259

You deserved it 3 172

Bunbu 8

Tuesday 24 February 2009 22:49

I think if I was with a guy and that happened, I'd ask if he wanted to cuddle until he was ready again. D: Also, she's a bitch.

yasmina212 1

Friday 13 February 2009 17:43

Congratulations on not breaking your dry spell.

Comments

DaBlankoMan 0

Monday 19 April 2010 18:20

WIN

DarkPrince_fml 0

Wednesday 21 April 2010 1:18

did he notice that he said as she was putting on the condum

allplayedout 20

Tuesday 4 May 2010 6:23

as I've always said...wax one before you see a chick for a date or when you bring her home, take a quick thirty seconds in the bathroom. might take longer to warm up after that, but otherwise, problem solved.

ARScratch 0

Friday 18 June 2010 11:51

I honestly don't understand how a guy can cum so fast.. really i don't. it takes me a little over an hour or so to cum and when hearing about pre ejaculation it never fails to leave my mind-a-boggled o.o

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Tuesday 17 August 2010 12:17

Over an hour? seriously, buddy, while women will love you for it, there's something wrong if you can't get under an hour. You should see a doctor. Really.

xteldridgex 0

Friday 24 September 2010 17:47

agreed. lasting long can be nice, but if you can't make a quickie a quickie, there is something wrong, either that or your girls are horrible lays. hah!

dessymania 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 4:33

well FYL cuz it ruins sex for you for a while. YDI for waiting 2 years

geez23 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 7:46

did you at least let her take the doggy bag with her?

xteldridgex 0

Friday 24 September 2010 17:44

I'll give you a tip. it's called, MASTURBATION. kinda like a pregame warm-up. plus, she's a bitch. she should have understood you can't control yourself. what a ****. move on dawg. Jessica Starr, search her on www.youjizz.com. enjoy

lauraameliia 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 15:49

good that she left, if I was you I would have kicked her out anyway. at least now you can be thankful that you didn't have sex with a total thoughtless bitch. :)