Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, I came out from the E.R. with an arm cast and stitches on my head, all because a cyclist ran me over on a pedestrian walkway and got away. FML
Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML
Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML
Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML
Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML
Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML
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Top comments
TheBiggerBoot 7
Wait till he's asleep in bed then do the same.
theoldman 22
Now the next step for your brother is to go into WWE because he now has his catchphrase: THE BONE CRUSHER. Literally.
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Comments (30)
conman531 23
If you were on the ground already and he jumped on to you, that's not a body slam. That would instead be a splash of some sort... Yeah yeah I'm a wrestling nerd
WhoaZombie 19
Lololololololol!
JustASpectator 8
It's because he was drunk, your body goes limb when you're drunk preventing you from getting hurt. So next time your brother jumps on top of you, make sure to be drunk as well ;)
richiedbond 16
I like your brother. I want to get drunk with him and see what other awesome things he does!
molliekatz 6
sucks for you BUT EPIC for him lmfao! WHO does that shit in real life?
tzimtzee 3
If you only ended up with a broken arm your brother needs to work on his finishing move :P
Yoyo2002 10
when I was younger a similar thing happened I was on the trampoline with a few friends and there dog there dog knocked me over and 1 of my friends put there elbow out and jumped on my stomach is was out of breath for a while after and we were like 7 years old