Health: Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can... - FML

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 464

You deserved it 1 283

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 19 992

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 553

You deserved it 2 007

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 907

You deserved it 1 202

By iltdtsm - 15/08/2009 16:58 - Canada

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 214

You deserved it 3 252

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 318

You deserved it 58 264

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 00:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 5 979

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 722

You deserved it 6 055

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 719

You deserved it 3 363

Rip Torn

By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 103

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 779

You deserved it 21 615

Next

Top comments

Higamalia 19

Tuesday 10 May 2016 15:53

I reeeeally hope you landed on it sideways and not when it was standing straight up. That could have ended much, much worse...talk about a close shave :p

Waschlappen 23

Tuesday 10 May 2016 16:18

So it is actually possible to just fall onto random objects with your anus. I need to give all the people going to the ER with stuff up their rectum the benefit of a doubt now..

Comments

Vagitarian4life 14

Tuesday 10 May 2016 16:25

Butt aren't you clumsy.

orangejubejube 20

Tuesday 10 May 2016 16:56

And now you're all butt-hurt over it eh?

mylsux 15

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:55

No. Just no.

Nickimariek 20

Tuesday 10 May 2016 16:58

I can't imagine the pain but I also can't stop laughing

drangonangel14 8

Tuesday 10 May 2016 17:20

"fell". lol jk hopefully ur OK!

0goniok 5

Tuesday 10 May 2016 17:22

Is this what you told the doctor? ?

andrmac 25

Tuesday 10 May 2016 18:24

Well I guess you if you have a boyfriend you're all prepared for anal.

Proud_Texan722 11

Tuesday 10 May 2016 19:29

Well, that FML really "cracked" me up

shn123 15

Tuesday 10 May 2016 19:58

Sure that's the story you told the ER

Bunnyluver 20

Tuesday 10 May 2016 20:16

That's a painful recovery. I split my butt crack a while inch more and it hurt bad for a month!

mattiscg 22

Tuesday 10 May 2016 20:26

Probably not the cream pie you had in mind...ah..ah..?!? Anyone???

Keywords

Teenagers Love Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Work Food Revenge Parents Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Weird Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Money Education

The Top

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 302

You deserved it 5 639

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 21 051

Today, I finally moved into my own flat - no family, nor messy flatmates. Should be great, except for the fact that I'm so short, I have to climb onto the counter in the kitchen any time I want to reach my shelves. Like a child. I'm going to break my fucking neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 755

Today, I was backing out of my garage when my neighbour's collie ran behind my car. Unfortunately, I didn't see it, but I heard a thump. They were out, so I rushed him to the vet's. I was upset, and I guess I was driving too fast and didn't see that another dog was crossing the road. I killed two dogs today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 429

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 887

You deserved it 3 358

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 3 319