Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
thatsjustgreat1 16
Gives a new meaning to "bust a nut".
SecundusSecunda 27
What has been pictured in my mind, cannot be undone. ಠ_ಠ I hope your jewel heals. Tis' but a scratch!
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Comments (73)
Talis99 26
Good Lord! What did you do, cannonball onto the floor?!
missoops 21
I laughed so hard narrating your comment to my partner that I farted on him too
hardcorefan16 22
That can happen? Jeez hope your okay op.
ThrottleJockey 36
Sadly, yes. Most men will experience at least once sometime during their lives. And while it may not lead to a rupture they'll still wish for the peace and comfort of sweet death when it happens.
Dilexar 26
Getting on my bike as a teen always crushed my jewels. Excruciating pain every time.
convive 23
balls cup innovation will cater to your needs
gatorgirl1023 9
I'm not sure I understand how wearing underwear would have prevented this
GhostFox 34
Properly fitting underwear hold one's family jewels in place, meaning that you can position them so you don't sit on them. No underwear means they flop around and are more subject to gravity. So as you go to sit down, there's a chance that one of them moves under your thigh and then... SQUISH.
watermelon4 24
What does "go commando" mean exactly? FYL OP, hope you get better
vikky538 29
It means no underwear
vikky538 29
You only two of them.. Keep them safe.
mattrd_fml 31
that's why I don't go commando.
ThrottleJockey 36
And here I thought the zipper was the greatest threat when going commando.
lantz4levi 19
God damn man that hurts me just reading this
Mahcookiez 15
Whats so fun about going commando?