Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
thatsjustgreat1 16
Gives a new meaning to "bust a nut".
SecundusSecunda 27
What has been pictured in my mind, cannot be undone. ಠ_ಠ I hope your jewel heals. Tis' but a scratch!
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Comments (73)
Atomic69 6
annnnnd thats why feminist shouldn't complain about "manspreading"...
wonandonly 11
You can just... just.... imagine it in your mind. Oh, the excruciating pain!
beef_weezle 13
As someone who routinely sits on his nuts, this scares me.
XandWacky 23
And some people think balls are basic things
mishwarner 14
How big are you & how much did you squish them exactly?
GhostFox 34
Amount of force varies. Sometimes getting kneed in the groin can rupture, sometime it takes a 300 pound person standing on them, or getting hit by a 'streamer cannon,' whatever that is. As for squish level, ruptured generally implies that at least stitches were required. At the far end, amputation can be required due to damage. There was also a guy that let a hyena eat one of his testicles for some reason.
Guy1009 15
I hope you are alright OP and may you take comfort in the fact ever man and woman who read this cringed in solidarity with you.
mattyiscool123 26
Ruptured a ********...hmmmm
pedinhuh 23
I'm feeling your pain, OP...Even after 20 minutes of reading this
URBeingLied2 23
That's one of those things that becomes a risk when your getting older as a guy
SoBeSatan 22
I can't even imagine the pain of this! I thought getting hit in the boob hurt but I can't fathom rupturing your junk... I'm sorry, OP! Good luck!