Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
thatsjustgreat1 16
Gives a new meaning to "bust a nut".
SecundusSecunda 27
What has been pictured in my mind, cannot be undone. ಠ_ಠ I hope your jewel heals. Tis' but a scratch!
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Comments (73)
Dexter83_fml 17
I don't know you but I do sure as feel for ya mate.
LostInTheZone11 29
The word Nutcracker just got a new definition.
22JB 11
This is one of those times you want cat like reflexes. Feel the pain and you're up. Sorry man, sounds like momentum won this battle.
Zarcissa 34
I hope you still have your other nut intact in case you want children in future.
False_Stupidity 42
I can scarcely imagine the agony you just went through and I've sat on a nut before, just not to that extent. So I wonder how long was spent in the fetal position before you were able to function well enough to call for an ambulance.
sunflower_seal 17
I go commando but I'm a girl. But I don't go without a bra cause frankly they would be everywhere. Lesson learned I hope , if you have dangly body parts highly sensitive and influenced by gravity Your best bet would be to keep them secure.
bunnyfish 27
I think no balls no comment applies here.
bunnyfish 27
You should know your own balls
fuckidontknow98 10
Didn't you just say "no balls, no comment"?
Dilexar 26
This came before "no balls no comment" but yes, they were still said at the same time.
skycollapsed 5
I've been going commando for over 5 years now and I've not crushed my balls.
aeryn97 17
I didn't know that was possible! ouch!
Leauge 13
Op I don't think boxers or briefs could stop that.