Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I felt rain on my face. I looked up and saw a man peeing out of a hot air balloon. FML
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
Today, I saw a little kid struggling with a balloon, so I tried to help tie it for her. It popped in my hands, and she started crying. Then her mom came running up, yelling, "What did you do to my daughter?" I had to run away while saying sorry. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
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Top comments
barbarajean 0
Thats what you get for makin out with balloon boy. Damn pedo.
Hannalea_fml 0
Someone needs a life.
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Comments (141)
misswallflower 8
Are you okay at least?? I read somewhere that it's extremely hard to get a balloon out if its been lodged far enough back.
Narttu 20
Genius.
LyricaSilvan 30
Oh, god...
Mortoli 30
lol wow op gettin a little desperate there arent you man?
gatorgirl7563 22
You shouldn't have used teeth! Are you alright after choking on the balloon??? That sounds more than a little horrible to experience and is something that actually has the potential to kill you. You okay, OP?
cuddlycactus 11
Next time try a pillow, or something that is not prone to explode
FFAce 11
Perma virgins be like
Elisabetha Aarron 18
Wow how did you not think the balloon would pop. Like wow.
randybryant799 21
God I hope you're only like 12. If not then....yikes!!
wrenavery90 12
God I hope you're like 12. If not.....