Miscellaneous: Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly...

By Anonymous - 14/01/2012 00:09 - Sweden

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 044

You deserved it 15 244

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Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 290

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 387

You deserved it 7 513

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 077

You deserved it 6 033

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 431

You deserved it 13 249

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 245

By Lil_bit - 04/01/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 737

You deserved it 44 460

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 5 231

By LilaTheGreat - 05/05/2013 23:51 - United States - Boyd

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 530

You deserved it 44 197

By JulieKid - 04/05/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 526

You deserved it 7 800

By a non e mouse - 10/11/2015 22:34 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 945

You deserved it 8 162

NuTrees 9

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:48

That's when you use your skills to get back into the house. You know up the tree, onto the ledge... You know!

Damn_Hippster 11

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:01

That's some Indian Jones shit right there. I wouldn't even care about the keys as long as at least one person saw that.

Comments

irtgarme002 4

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:52

Way to go, Indiana Doh'nes.

LookOnBrightSide 12

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:41

Was I the only one humming the Indiana Jones theme song to this? That theme song was surely a classic.

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 14 January 2012 17:54

Personally, this comment makes me think of the Simpsons version where Bart is escaping to the school bus.

Pentium_4 27

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:52

you have a security camera that recorded that? i wouldn't mind seeing that

CVeNgineer 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:54

Indiana Jones style!!

ifailplzinsultme 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:57

That would of been badass. You know, if you wern't a dumbass first.

Strafeh 9

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:57

Did your smugness come with you out the garage and miss? Is that why it's on the floor?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:59

You're like Indiana Jones' idiot brother. Montana Jones?

unoffensivename 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:09

Nebraska Smith?

zombicidal 11

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:20

Utah Rogers

LookOnBrightSide 12

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:38

Iowa Jackson.

Insane_Tea 15

Saturday 14 January 2012 7:06

Richard O' Connell

sheethapins 13

Saturday 14 January 2012 7:31

Idaho Dickinson.

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 14 January 2012 8:37

Tennessee Williams?

aksweetheart 7

Saturday 2 June 2012 10:22

well if they are brothers, they most likely have the same last name, so I would stick with Montana Jones, or Iowa Jones(if you want to stock with the same initials)(: