Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective.... - FML

By minette08 - 29/1/2010 21:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24002

You deserved it

3049

Tweet

Share

Serious times

Rock, hard place

KoBabe

By Kylene - 23/4/2009 19:51 - United States

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19692

You deserved it

52618

Tweet

Share

By butterbody - 23/3/2014 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44852

You deserved it

6763

Tweet

Share

By shadow - 26/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5754

You deserved it

264

Tweet

Share

By bottombarrel - 28/10/2014 14:07 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35938

You deserved it

4225

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/7/2015 17:59 - Northern Mariana Islands - Saipan

Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." Two hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24682

You deserved it

5295

Tweet

Share

By transfer - 3/6/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, I asked to change my major at the college I'm transferring to in the fall. Instead of letting me change my major, they withdrew my acceptance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37642

You deserved it

4731

Tweet

Share

By Me - 5/1/2010 07:16 - France

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39667

You deserved it

2056

Tweet

Share

By Eivana - 30/11/2018 12:00

Today, I finally got up the nerve to leave my boyfriend. We have no spark and quite honestly, it's been really awkward. I planned to tell him when he came in, and I did. After all was said and done, he handed me the roses and new puppy he had bought for me, a puppy that I had been saving up to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3100

You deserved it

1256

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/5/2017 22:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, I saw a dead ant. It made me think about how brief and fragile life is, why we're all here, and whether it has a point. It was a piece of lint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2469

You deserved it

819

Tweet

Share

By blotchy-girl - 15/7/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41953

You deserved it

6697

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/2/2017 10:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3756

You deserved it

6144

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/6/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35883

You deserved it

3049

Tweet

Share

By almost jobless - 11/7/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11584

You deserved it

32681

Tweet

Share

By paulcorrea95 - 21/9/2019 06:07 - United States

Boozing on the job

Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1676

You deserved it

135

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/2/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25271

You deserved it

12629

Tweet

Share

By FML - 21/12/2013 16:58 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45105

You deserved it

3631

Tweet

Share

By "penne_pasta580802" - 23/1/2020 14:00

Ultimately

Today, I decided to take my car to work as I had some errands to do after. I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1767

You deserved it

551

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/1/2020 01:00 - Sweden - ?ngelholm

One night

Today, I woke up from putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize until I smelt burning plastic.. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1722

You deserved it

819

Tweet

Share

By SKG95 - 22/8/2019 16:00

Today, I had a flight to Philadelphia, but it got canceled due to bad weather. I booked another, which got delayed. After waiting for almost 12 hours at the airport, I boarded, just to have a super annoying toddler kicking my seat from behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1601

You deserved it

113

Tweet

Share

By fuck - 9/11/2013 23:30 - United States - Hubert

Caught

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70186

You deserved it

5241

Tweet

Share

By hiii. - 16/3/2010 02:27 - United States

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11293

You deserved it

40715

Tweet

Share

By brittrod - 5/12/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29918

You deserved it

3361

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/7/2013 14:55 - United States

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49626

You deserved it

4122

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 31/8/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 4 years thinks my chemotherapy sessions are the perfect opportunity to sleep with other girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7238

You deserved it

284

Tweet

Share

By N/A - 25/9/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29333

You deserved it

2815

Tweet

Share

By healthfoodshmealthfood - 17/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health-foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30831

You deserved it

3652

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/9/2014 21:54 - United States - Conway

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39505

You deserved it

19168

Tweet

Share

By Elmoo - 1/6/2012 01:20 - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29443

You deserved it

1926

Tweet

Share

By weaknesspersonified - 10/11/2015 23:25 - Austria

Today, I felt sad, useless and like I could never achieve anything. To cheer myself up, I wanted to smell some essential orange oil. I couldn't open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22283

You deserved it

3675

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/4/2015 15:18 - United States

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31974

You deserved it

2402

Tweet

Share

By MissAnonymous93 - 14/5/2016 15:32 - South Africa

Today, I got my tonsils removed. My body also agreed that today was a good day to get a bad cough. My bed currently looks like a scene out of "Dexter". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12224

You deserved it

741

Tweet

Share

By Are you kidding me? - 9/9/2013 20:51 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42935

You deserved it

4553

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/9/2017 20:00

Today, it's been two weeks since I honked, screamed, and cussed at a cyclist on the road. Since then, my car has been keyed, my tires have been slashed, bricks have been thrown at my windows, and my number has been put on Craigslist as a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2390

You deserved it

5776

Tweet

Share

By WetWetWet - 4/1/2010 11:15 - India

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27887

You deserved it

2593

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 19:57 - Canada

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32842

You deserved it

5877

Tweet

Share

By And yes, he does also believe in the Illuminati. - 11/6/2017 22:00

Today, I learned that my new boyfriend seriously thinks that Inglorious Bastards is historically accurate and is actually the secret history of World War 2 being revealed to the public. Nothing I say will make him change his mind. I guess that relationship is a goner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3001

You deserved it

352

Tweet

Share

By oxymorons - 5/9/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34368

You deserved it

3102

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/5/2013 04:16 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45088

You deserved it

21337

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 23/2/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38000

You deserved it

18576

Tweet

Share

By quick blow - 16/5/2012 02:53 - United States

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26782

You deserved it

7293

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Back_In_Action | 18

#808569 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:29

Why are you people such shitheads? It's not like she's making a huge fuss about it. In fact, it's one of the few FMLs I've seen that aren't completely wallowing in self-misery. Do us a favor and go play in traffic.

By IamDreamingAbout | 0

#808531 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:15

At least you're clean!! ;)

COMMENTS

By Aggriken | 0

#808507 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:05

i know.

Reply

Skullcrusher | 5

#808545 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:19

Who gives a shit?!

Reply

Ajjas013 | 6

#808704 - Saturday 30 January 2010 2:54

Today, I took a shower while driving in my car to save time. FML

Reply

hihawties | 0

#808796 - Saturday 30 January 2010 4:04

pooped

Reply

jamieboy11 | 0

#808824 - Saturday 30 January 2010 4:27

lol

Reply

liy223 | 6

#2830095 - Wednesday 6 July 2011 11:08

I don't understand this comment.

By soozjw | 2

#808508 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:05

Hardly FYL!

By nuked | 0

#808509 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:05

I feel for you.. Just get it fixed, you whiny bitch.

By MadeOfAwesome | 1

#808519 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:10

YDI for being too lazy to wash your car yourself

Reply

Back_In_Action | 18

#808563 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:26

Maybe you didn't notice, but it's January in Michigan. Some of us prefer to not die of hypothermia, thanks.

Reply

lubby_fml | 0

#808602 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:52

Good gravy!!

Its really January in Michigan? Man, its mid feb for everyone else in the world...

Reply

boredSOLDIER | 33

#808608 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:58

wow lol its still jan here 29JAN 2010?

Reply

DonkeyDelight | 0

#808652 - Saturday 30 January 2010 2:26

That's not true, It's 30th of January in the whole of Britain and Ireland.

Reply

boredSOLDIER | 33

#808677 - Saturday 30 January 2010 2:39

buttttt its still JANUARY

Reply

Twi_lover_EC | 6

#808681 - Saturday 30 January 2010 2:41

It's 29th of January in Iowa.....Winter sucks.

Reply

boredSOLDIER | 33

#808698 - Saturday 30 January 2010 2:52

lol winter aint dat bad. but i am in louisiana so it aint to cold

Reply

Lounia_fml | 8

#808769 - Saturday 30 January 2010 3:42

He's being sarcastic guys loooooooool :P

Reply

strawberry6826 | 0

#808867 - Saturday 30 January 2010 4:57

lmfaooooo

Reply

ginob | 0

#808910 - Saturday 30 January 2010 5:40

over in the uk it's not 1/29/10 it's 29/1/2010 0_o

Reply

ZleveL | 0

#809062 - Saturday 30 January 2010 8:08

in Seattle and Vancouver there was no snow except for like 1 inch :(

Reply

joshhh11 | 0

#809215 - Saturday 30 January 2010 11:35

THERE'S 29 MONTHS IN AMERICA?!?!?!?

By IamDreamingAbout | 0

#808531 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:15

At least you're clean!! ;)

By deepdiver999 | 0

#808534 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:16

shut the fuck up about that you little pussy don't fml the situation get the fucking thing fixed!!

By evilkid42 | 0

#808537 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:17

oh wow

By Mahyar | 2

#808540 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:18

the guy above is right

ydi cuz your a whiny girl. Moderator Fail.

By crissyspic | 0

#808560 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:25

bahahaha idiot

By trebla3193 | 0

#808566 - Saturday 30 January 2010 1:28

that's alright you probably needed a shower anyway