Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
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Top comments
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
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Comments (204)
neondeath 0
no spur no
ArmedcrackerR6 8
if you don't like it sleep in you car.
Zebidee 9
Unless it's a Beetle...
nahbayccb 0
u guys mean peasents, dun you?
nahbayccb 0
if you get sun, just sun both sides of your mattress. strong sunlight kills them little buggers.... gd luck!
Jewelofagal 2
You're remembering whatever you heard only half right. Strong sunlight has no effect on bedbugs or their eggs. It's extreme heat and extreme cold that kill the pests. On a couple hot, sunny, summer days, the OP could tightly seal his mattress in thick plastic and leave it in the sun to "bake" away the bedbugs and their eggs. It's not a foolproof method, but can help.
stacie777 0
They have uv lights that you can run over your bed that kills them. or you can wrap your bed in plastic and then put the sheets on. It will provide a barrier and slowly suffercate the bed bugs at the same time. Dont be dirty and just sleep there!!! Also, if they are in ypur bed they are probaby in your clothes, sofa, and carpets so be careful!!
Jewelofagal 2
Suffercate? It's: "suffocate". Do you know how much air would still remain in a plastic wrapped mattress, even if it was tightly sealed? Plenty to sustain bedbugs. Combine that with the fact that the bugs can live over a year without a blood meal and it's easy to see why eradicating an infestation is very difficult.
ReginalUT 0
Hey op rent some industrial heaters to heat your home to over 120 degrees F.. It will kill all the bed bugs and there eggs.
peachezthelette 22
Dude I had those. Me and my ex slept out in the truck.
Zebidee 9
You're in Canada in the depths of winter. It's a lot easier to cool a place below the temperature bugs can live, than heat it above it. Turn the heating off, leave a couple of windows open and go stay with a friend for a few days. Job done.
vettle 6
they die from heat. end of story.
Jewelofagal 2
Some sources cite that bedbugs can be killed from several days of exposure to cold (less than 32 degrees) in addition to heat above 120 degrees. Zebidee -- Yeah. And when he comes back all his stuff will have been stolen and the water pipes will have burst. Good idea.
Zebidee 9
Or, knowing that the heating will be off, you could turn the water off at the mains, and drain the pipes by opening the taps, running the showers and flushing the toilets until they're dry, just like anyone would in an unattended place in winter... Do I have to do everyone's thinking for them?
vettle 6
no no no. I don't care how little money you have. get rid of the mattress, crank up the heat in your bedroom and sleep on the floor. If you leave them you will spread them to everyone else.
allplayedout 20
air mattresses are cheaper or couch!