Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
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Top comments
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
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Comments (204)
daddyof5 0
Buy a mattress cover $10 Wal Mart.
Jewelofagal 2
Not all mattress covers will keep out bedbugs. Be an informed consumer.
xlil_miss_emo_x 6
ugh if I ever had bed bugs, i would just have everything washable dry cleaned, throw out my furniture, and move after notifying the landlord. I have a severe fear of anything that is or is related to bugs.
cursesonyourmom 1
pitch the mattress and sleep on the floor.
ancora 1
Everyone should look up diatomaceous earth (food grade) and its uses for bed bugs. If you google Canada bed bugs, there is a site with videos that show effective ways of controlling bed bugs through application of the pet/child safe fossilized diatoms. I have tried to post my experiences with bed bugs, but the site filters me (I guess the URL, but it's really worth looking at. And this is after weeks of researching how to get rid of them). It'll make your home look a little dusty, but you don't really need that much and you can just leave a little down for long-term treatment.
Plante12 8
Cedar cide. New bed bug killer spray, non toxic to people and pets. Look it up
ancora 1
I think a lot of problems people have with products like that is that they kill them on contact, but don't really do anything long term. Anyway, whatever anyone gets for bed bugs, read as many reviews as possible. Search different sites, read blogs, etc. I never tried cedar personally, but we did spray the heck out of our apartment with 91% (isopropyl alcohol) because it's supposed to kill them on contact and repeated contact supposed kills eggs. I wasn't super thrilled with the results, but we had to feel like we were being proactive. There were a few other products that we almost purchased, but after more research we were disappointed that there were some horrible reviews (everyone wants a miracle product, right?).
Jewelofagal 2
Where did you find the 91% isopropyl alcohol? Everywhere I've looked (no problem now, just want to be prepared) only sells the 73% version.
ancora 1
We got it from Wal-mart...we also bought empty spray bottle from there, but we were able to screw the nozzle directly to the alcohol bottle.
Jewelofagal 2
Thanks!
ohSNAPyall 27
Better get the mattress cleaned.. I mean fumigated!
MrsPegg 45
Go buy lice spray and some Raid... $30 and you'll be better. Or even better, pay $90 to have a pest control guy come... you know you can die if they have Lyme disease, right?
Jewelofagal 2
Lice and bedbugs are completely different pests. What works on one may have zero effect on the other and vice versa. Also, common household pesticides, like Raid, don't affect bedbugs. And, bedbugs don't carry Lyme disease. Here's an exerpt on that point from a Medical News Today article: Research, however, indicates that bed bugs do not transmit disease, even though they do bite and take blood. Infections will occur as a result of scratching, and not from a pathogen passed on from the bug. Very rarely, some people may have an anaphylactic reaction to bed bug bites. It is possible to have an asthmatic reaction when they shed skin as they grow and die; but cases are very rare.
curzy 6
get a giant ass ziplock bag and suffocate the bastards >: o
Itny 0
bed bath and beyond sells these cover that go all the way around your mattress and will suffocate them so they die. when I had them I got rid of my box spring, cause thats where they were, and bought one of those covers. it worked and I don't have them anymore.
CJeanne 2
get an air mattress. you can get a decent one for about 30 bucks and a pump to blow it up for around 20. won't totally solve the problem, but better than sleeping on an infested mattress.