Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
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Top comments
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
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Comments (204)
ifreakinroksGF 0
It's called Craigslist
xstream 5
just heat the room above 60°C/140°F for 2 days and they will die. u should be able to do this by isolating the windows with blankets or something and using electric heaters (try to not burn your house down).
KVloveBC 0
wow! what kinda neighborhood is that??!!
ShannyBan33 0
You can get new mattresses on craig's list or the mission or look in the news paper. To subject yourself to that unnecessarily is your fault.
Kio_fml 0
Burn them with fire, should do the trick.
Michaelkg 0
burn the ******* bed then lay the sheets over the remains. no more bugs and it might b softer
Amy78_fml 11
I don't know if it would work for bed bugs, but it does work for fleas. You take moth balls and sprinkle them all over the room and seal it up best you can towel under the door. you let it set for a couple of hours, then open up your windows and vacum the moth balls up. Repeat again in two weeks.
Fishfanatic 7
Vacuum your matress with the most powerful vacuum cleaner you can get your hands on ( hire one if you have to ) turn it several times and keep vacuuming. Cover it thickly in camphor and lavender ( bugs hate these two plants) , and put a plastic matress cover on it. The bed will smell strong but that's good. Leave that cover on all day and if it's possible for you to stay with a friend for a day or two ( preferably more ) , that would be best to really give it time to work. It may also be worth taking the matress outside into the sun ( they also hate this as they prefer dark slightly moist places like a sweaty bed ) and beat it as you would a rug. Then vacuum again. And I would be quite surprised if you have no couch, why not sleep on that? Really you need to always get plenty of fresh air and light into all the rooms you have, and vacuum and dust every day to keep things like this from happening.
Jewelofagal 2
Fresh air, light, dusting, and vacuuming don't prevent bed bug infestations just like washing your hair every day doesn't prevent a lice infestation.
HastyPainter 0
ydi if you'd rather sleep with bed bugs than on the floor.
sunshinesmile86 0
go to the dr and get some cream and spray ur bed down with something
xsacramentoflove 0
Unfortunately OP, you'd need to do a lot more than buy a new mattress to get rid of bed bugs. They live in more places than just the bed... wooden bed frame, carpet, couch, etc. I don't know how much you can do short of hiring a professional to chemically treat or heat-treat the place, but there are some good tips to try posted above for a DIY-fix. Downside to bed bugs, they are very persistent. And 41- OP sleeping on the floor wouldn't help, the bugs would just find him there instead. They go looking for a blood meal just like a mosquito would.