Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
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Top comments
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
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Comments (204)
melancholyangel 0
The only way to effectively get rid of bed bugs is to get an exterminator. If you live in an apartment or anywhere you rent you need to notify your landlord immediately. Right now, obtaining a new bed should be the least of your worries, you need to focus on getting rid of them. If you do not take action now, the infestation will grow, making it harder and harder to get rid of them. Eventually, if you do get a new mattress without dealing with the bed bugs, they will get in your new mattress too. In addition to getting an exterminator, you need to bag all your belongings and wash all your laundry before you bring everything back to where you live. Bottom line is you NEED to act before you contribute to the spread of bed bugs. If you live in an apartment, you need to protect other tenants from getting bed bugs since the spread of them is so unpredictable and they can travel through vents, cracks, etc easily. Once you are sure they are gone, you can always get an air mattress. FYL for having them, but YDI if you do not take action.
clheosofia 0
buy a plastic cover for your bed. they make them for people who wet the bed
saurus_fml 0
Go to domyownpestcontrol.com bedlam works wonders its what the professionals use. Cover your mattress in a bed bug proof cover too. Definately do not sleep on the couch you will spread your problem they go to where their food source is...you!
i_love_puppybrea 0
a new matress won't do anything the only thing that really gets them away is heating your house up to 120 degrees cause try are sensitive to heat, BUYING A NEW MATRESS DOESN'T WORK! so don't waste your money on it since you're gonna have to pay a company to heat your whole house up
awesomeiam 0
vaccum ur bed and wash ur sheets
Wis93 0
dont worry they make seals that go around your mattress bed bugs cant get in or out
anettes 7
aw, i feel sorry for you ..
southhawks 0
hey maybe you'd MATHEW be happier if you put the mic down and let 6.33 others sings. take it w a grain of salt.
alldara 0
Go through the salvation army and get a new matress. They will help if you can't afford one.
Jewelofagal 2
Yep, and it will take one night and the "new Salvation Army mattress will be infested too.
loquitaxD 1
eew.