Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
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Top comments
yankeesfancg 13
On the first date
kpc2424 13
They say dolphins are the most intelligent mammals...
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Comments (187)
ewv023 7
OP I have a question... How does something like that happen?
Soluxis 17
I'm not necessarily talking about the OP here, but do you think there's a dolphin somewhere thinking "Yeah, I've always dreamed of swimming with a middle-aged overweight woman from Missouri"
TheAngryPrincess 3
Don't Free Willy!
thelizarddd 7
I've always wanted to swim with dolphins. at least you got to.
Arrawyn 12
Ooooh she liked you
ethanman82 8
ohhhhh. right in the blow hole.
insanez58 11
I can't say this is one of those things that happens to everyone
Fancy_Potatoes 3
It wants you to screw its blow hole ;)
Ihavenogoodname 6
That dolphinintly sucks
sengmeng 4
Dolphins are kinda rapey.