FML : Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When...

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By f__k_it / Sunday 18 January 2009 16:30 / United States

Intimacy

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Top comments

By Rainbowsareshiny | 0

#1984 - Friday 13 February 2009 23:35

hahahahahaha
take it easy on the guy. he fails but...it's technically not his fault
how could he have known that his ex wanted to ahem MAKE WHOOPIE? gosh lol

By feelslikeanoose | 0

#438 - Saturday 7 February 2009 1:44

you definately misused "abundantly" in this. Fail

Comments

By Timmytwofinger | 0

#184 - Thursday 5 February 2009 1:00

once to make you last longer, anymore than that then you're fucked, or not in your case. BAIL.

MrDanimal | 0

#1583831 - Friday 22 October 2010 3:09

I can do it 10 times n still get it up, so WTF?

btown1616 | 0

#2793139 - Thursday 30 June 2011 20:20

yea its easy to get it up after 3

farhil | 14

#3380466 - Monday 3 October 2011 4:50

And y'all have tried this...?

By feelslikeanoose | 0

#438 - Saturday 7 February 2009 1:44

you definately misused "abundantly" in this. Fail

lizamaphone | 6

#1320003 - Monday 30 August 2010 3:07

op deserves it for that (misusing "abundantly") and for calling sex "making whoopie"

lolfood | 24

#5506529 - Saturday 25 May 2013 17:52

Definitely* :|

carbivore | 10

#5897976 - Friday 28 March 2014 6:37

Making something "abundantly clear" is a pretty common phrase, I wouldn't call that a 'misuse.'

ILookAtFMLs | 13

#6534555 - Thursday 11 February 2016 20:24

What frightens me is how many up votes this has.

By Rainbowsareshiny | 0

#1984 - Friday 13 February 2009 23:35

hahahahahaha
take it easy on the guy. he fails but...it's technically not his fault
how could he have known that his ex wanted to ahem MAKE WHOOPIE? gosh lol

By 3lended7wice | 0

#2576 - Monday 16 February 2009 8:32

@ 4: you are probably a virgin.
@ 8: YES! exactly what i was thinking.

and this whole scenario is really a shame. though it more than likely saved you from some drama in the future.

chiddy_bang71 | 0

#2691433 - Thursday 16 June 2011 3:03

your responding to 8 but your 7.... can u see the future?!

NikkiFlysKites | 8

#2708224 - Saturday 18 June 2011 12:19

I'm wondering the samething..

Se0ul_Fr3sh | 0

#2920961 - Monday 18 July 2011 11:27

That is weird... o.0

By beezy_slayer | 0

#15823 - Thursday 5 March 2009 8:09

yea really whoopie what are u 12? wow this isfunny

ilaaFML | 0

#1024460 - Wednesday 9 June 2010 2:32

come on, 12 year old's know better than that.

Already_Dead | 15

#6050070 - Thursday 28 August 2014 3:34

...And some 12 year olds can spell better than you. (Not implying that I am 12. I just had the common sense of using proper grammar at that age.)

By fhxokgra99 | 0

#17089 - Friday 6 March 2009 0:41

wow, you're a pussy.
you oviously have no kids and you're oviously not in high school.
I'm going to guess mid 40s used car salesmen no kids lives in a shitty apartment.
I got creative with this one.

Moneylover103 | 1

#4542753 - Saturday 9 June 2012 8:17

And you "ovisouly" can't spell and have no life whatsoever

ladykkay | 12

#6266011 - Saturday 18 April 2015 10:38

this guy^^^^^^^^
is awesome
@53

JohnnyDontCare | 11

#6478236 - Sunday 6 December 2015 1:17

And you're obviously a complete piece of shit

By Rrandommness | 0

#31710 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:45

MASTURBATION FAIL you poor guy lol

By gukinator | 0

#36923 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:41

#8
u would say you jacked it thrice or you jacked it three times
not you jacked it thrice times
op- thats happened to me, it sux :[
thats why i never jack off when i have a gf, or if its like the middle of the day

SoFaded80 | 0

#522213 - Friday 28 August 2009 19:25

lol. i second this.

Moneylover103 | 1

#4542754 - Saturday 9 June 2012 8:18

Ummmm it's his EX-girlfriend!!!!!

Moneylover103 | 1

#4542757 - Saturday 9 June 2012 8:20

You dumb M. O. F. O.

By djtelekinesis | 0

#43774 - Friday 20 March 2009 0:06

Make whoopie? Are we watching Mallrats?

Just tell her you jacked off for a bit and you can eat her out for a while as compensation. You'll eventually get it back up.