Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML
Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML
Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends, and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
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Top comments
BuffaloSabres134 8
Definitely not a good way to show people you have a life.
buck33 14
"Jerry! Hey, Jerry! Hey! JERRY. Kumbuck3t15!" "What?"
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Comments (139)
kayliers 5
Throw away the Xbox and go outside. :)
99megster 15
Better yet, sell the Xbox!
_duhastmich 11
Better yet, give it to me! :)
zombiebombatron 6
Better yet, keep the ************ cause people are assholes!! And it's a good way to get your anger out, trust. Hahaa...
xMiss_Maggot 7
i rather sell it than throwing it away..
perdix 31
I have the same problem: I don't often respond to my boring ol' given name, and I only answer to my **** name.
mtrrace 4
Mike hawk
Stormdriven37 6
Seymour Butts
XmyviolentheartX 13
Ben Dover?
ceccles628 6
Ray P. ?
DarthCory 7
Goddamnit, these are the worst **** names I've ever seen.
perdix 31
I was going to tell you what it is, but I like the guesses so far! Please, keep going.
ManInTheMachine 20
PerDick?
thelinlinx3 10
Candy. It has to be.
godhatesyou777 3
Anita Dick
Enslaved 38
Penis Colada? (and getting caught in the rain.)
AznSamoan52 10
Hue Jass?
AznSamoan52 10
I have the answer!!!!!!!! Is it Moe Lester?
biglittlehead 12
Mike Hunt
jem970 19
Big Dick Danvers?
olpally 33
Ricky Bobby?
MrsPegg 45
Johnson Humple Lot?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
DocBastard? He's leading a secret side job. >_>
skullman870 1
Mike Oxbig?
perdix 31
My agent got me into a Bollywood orgy scene under the name Shankar Soares! I got paid in inexplicably mist naan and fired my agent!
perdix 31
*moist*
manyourlifesucks 0
Jerry pop?
THExistentialist 13
I KNOW!!! Ice Bank Mice Elf!
GhostlyGhoulish 1
Penis McFly
99megster 15
You need to go camping, in a tent, with no internet or electronics. That's one way to show you that there's more to life than sitting on a couch playing video games.
99megster 15
28- haha well if you go to a campground there is usually bathrooms and showers that you can use. I know I would die if I had to crap in the woods.
redbluegreen 41
There's more to life than indoor plumbing, but it stinks.
ManInTheMachine 20
36-I dunno about DIE. I mean, sure a parasitic worm can jump into your rectal cavity while you're taking a dump and eat through the wall of your intestines, and sure a bear could maul you to death while having a wash in a nearby pond, but I think 'die' is a little melodramatic.
99megster 15
56- Okay, maybe I wouldn't DIE, but I do find squatting in the woods to take a dump extremely uncomfortable and awkward.
manyourlifesucks 0
My dad and i were driving down the freeway. When his car broke down. An urge to shit later and people driving by can notice a grown 49 year old 6 foot 4 man taking a squat on the side of the road. YOLO.
deOrca 8
I survived a mauling to death by bear yesterday. Totally safe recreational activity. Fun story to tell the buds.
redreynard 14
So which one of your names is kumbuck3t15?
DarthCory 7
That's his birth name, obviously.
redreynard 14
Neither one would surprise me.
KiiwiiRox 6
Gaming is fun but not too much where you go by gamer tag. That's like watching the ring so much you start going by Dobby. I love Dobby. Bad example... Anyway at least go out and breathe some fresh air for an hour or two :)
KiiwiiRox 6
I know where Dobby is from idiot. I just spelled it wrong. Let me correct myself: Harry Potter
KiiwiiRox 6
Actually If u haven't had the problem where your comments don't show up so you post it again, you cant talk. I'm one that forgets what I had previously posted, so I post what I remember and yeah at first I was going for golum but I'm an idiot and forgot how to spell his name and I THOUGHT I had erased the entire "Lord of the Rings" word but I guess not. So my bad!
elletex 8
My favorite part is when Dobby crawls out of the TV.
KiiwiiRox 6
Look who's talking. The person who's dumb is you for trying to start a fight. I'm only trying to correct my mistake. You didn't have to be an ass over a little mistake. Not like you're perfect.
Deannie88 6
No need to be mean guys Why can't we get along?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Who calls someone a noob over a Harry potter movie..lol. Guess we found another person with no life.
olpally 33
That's way too much gaming. Glad you realized you need a life! Now go and get one. Damn, go out and drink if you can or do something social.
challan 19
some people game and miss out on life... but in the same way some people drink instead of getting busy with hot blondes... sometimes I can't understand anyone!
sporty1200xlr 6
I call my buddy by his gamer tag all the time, that's not the bad thing here. Playing is not bad but you have to break away from the screen and socialize in person with people.
Dixbfloppin 11
Add me on Xbox: xX1337QuiKsCoPePr0SHoTTyyZxXx420sMoKeW33DXx
SqueakyChipmunk 22
.......I think I speak for everyone when I say: ****. THAT.
jem970 19
Oh my... Get out of your parents basement and see the sun! And interact with real live people! Go to the pool or mall or anywhere but seriously! Take a break from the Xbox.
ChakatBlackstar 29
That's not bad. What's bad is when you start thinking of yourself by your tag more then your given name to the point where you seriously consider changing your legal name.