Animals: Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he... - FML

By Anonymous - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28820

You deserved it

5488

Tweet

Share

Season finale

Help!

Bee Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo

By kaleighf - United States - Hollywood

Today, a new girl showed up at my school and everyone really seems to be intrigued about her. I've been told at least five times today that she is the hotter version of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14013

You deserved it

1159

Tweet

Share

By Belgian girl - United States - Lewes

Today, I became my one night stand's shrink as he went through the process of realising he might be bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5270

You deserved it

694

Tweet

Share

By Doubleyew1 - United States

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34343

You deserved it

4873

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Booted

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26247

You deserved it

3354

Tweet

Share

By Crystal Crackles

Today, I used my rear windsheild wiper and it shattered a large hole in the glass where the rotating part is. No one can repair the window until tomorrow afternoon. It's snowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2443

You deserved it

170

Tweet

Share

By ailat0107 - United States

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50079

You deserved it

5625

Tweet

Share

By Brian - United States

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37968

You deserved it

18813

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11181

You deserved it

43313

Tweet

Share

By Can I press charges? - Australia - Hamilton

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40491

You deserved it

4640

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20377

You deserved it

40858

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Quiet

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

40563

You deserved it

11478

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/2/2021 14:02

Flattery will get you nowhere

Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

690

You deserved it

191

Tweet

Share

By Disney dashed

Not so Magic Kingdom

Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1755

You deserved it

274

Tweet

Share

By toeloezz - Netherlands

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11981

You deserved it

1255

Tweet

Share

By blood buddies - United States - Milford

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48390

You deserved it

8626

Tweet

Share

By hypocrite - Canada - Campbell River

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25680

You deserved it

3847

Tweet

Share

By sneaky1324 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31860

You deserved it

2185

Tweet

Share

By silkytaco - United States

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13087

You deserved it

44292

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Kingman

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22327

You deserved it

5166

Tweet

Share

By JSF1234 - United States

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65008

You deserved it

3512

Tweet

Share

By Llamadroid - United States - Los Angeles

Today, out of my whole class, I received no awards. All my teachers thought that I would get plenty from the others. Now people think I'm stupid. I have a 3.66 GPA and they won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12627

You deserved it

1445

Tweet

Share

By Wtf - United States - Miamisburg

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

83972

You deserved it

4183

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Sweden

Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32544

You deserved it

13776

Tweet

Share

By michelle - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23232

You deserved it

2814

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39348

You deserved it

2980

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I'm on new medication that has a side effect of keeping me awake all night. Now I get to listen to my parents having sex at 2am when they think I'm fast asleep. FYI, my dad likes being spanked and being told that he's a really bad boy who needs punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5112

You deserved it

429

Tweet

Share

By me - United States - Katy

Today, we had a surprise test at school. I was totally unprepared for any of it, so I BSd the whole thing and turned it in. A few minutes later, our teacher said we were allowed to use our notes to finish the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19600

You deserved it

5907

Tweet

Share

By Ray - 31/12/2020 16:58

Anticlimactic

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

831

You deserved it

285

Tweet

Share

By hotelbound - United States - Florissant

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46277

You deserved it

2984

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Hialeah

Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28597

You deserved it

2324

Tweet

Share

By i see fat people - Australia - Canberra

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23037

You deserved it

9837

Tweet

Share

By wouldn'tyouliketoknow

Sneaky moggie

Today, my neighbours were screaming for their "lost" cat again. I've already seen the cat multiple times. In my garden. Pissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1477

You deserved it

118

Tweet

Share

By Tay - Australia

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28472

You deserved it

2711

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28774

You deserved it

4460

Tweet

Share

By bxjxj - United States

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35151

You deserved it

3200

Tweet

Share

By SetoAyumi - United States

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37447

You deserved it

3360

Tweet

Share

By robzzz - Canada

Stuck

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32534

You deserved it

3811

Tweet

Share

By Cat Ashes - United States - Dewitt

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43678

You deserved it

2782

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38764

You deserved it

7480

Tweet

Share

By tony - United States

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77388

You deserved it

7643

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By gerrags | 16

#6179126 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:59

If the cat got up there it will get itself down... YDI

By wanted_2_want | 40

#6179122 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:59

At least a tip to the guy would be in order.

COMMENTS

By wanted_2_want | 40

#6179122 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:59

At least a tip to the guy would be in order.

Reply

StantheMan93 | 12

#6179904 - Thursday 22 January 2015 2:49

I'm surprised only one person made a joke about calling the fire department.

By nour_a | 16

#6179123 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:59

Lol where in LA are you!! I'm in BR! Bc this is a funny situation!

Reply

Ian7890 | 23

#6179432 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 16:20

I'm pretty sure it says Louisiana

Reply

Shadowblast423 | 3

#6179442 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 16:37

Well, Louisiana is shortened to La. We just don't call it La.

By gerrags | 16

#6179126 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 5:59

If the cat got up there it will get itself down... YDI

Reply

sturschaedel | 27

#6179212 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 7:53

Unless it's really young and thaz was it's first time climbing a tree, I agree. Generally, cats know very well how high they can go.

Reply

Otherhats | 20

#6179589 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 20:07

Occasionally cats can go higher then they are comfortable being. This can cause them to freeze where they are, terrified. They won't move until someone helps them down, or they fall.

Reply

tantanpanda | 26

#6179711 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 22:52

Cats can fall from two stories, still be fine AND land on their feet safely. They could fall a bit higher and be completely fine since the ground is probably dirt or grass. Kittens, i'll give a pass for, but adult cats know damn well. They just want to make a fool of their provider.

By teentee401 | 36

#6179127 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:00

Should've called in the fire department like they do on TV

By sweetbliss3 | 37

#6179128 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:00

you know cats climb trees all the time? I've never heard of a cat getting stuck anywhere. if they can go up, they can come down.

Reply

DaeccaD | 5

#6179182 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 7:03

young cats get stuck in trees. Had to get one out ones cause it got scared. stuff happens. but then again. if you leave them. they will find a way.

By Enslaved | 36

#6179129 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:00

Did you not offer to pay for his trip out there?

By NomeDMF | 17

#6179130 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:00

Your cat had it all planned out.

By Emzinatorbot | 26

#6179131 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:00

You couldn't call and tell them not to send anyone?

Reply

Jinxsie | 27

#6179166 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:42

I'm assuming it was already too late.

By christian1509 | 21

#6179132 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:01

A cat is fully capable of climbing back down a tree it got itself in

By condor216 | 15

#6179136 - Wednesday 21 January 2015 6:02

Cats are assholes.