Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said, "Good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was, "Just wank it off and move on." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML
Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML
Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML
Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
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Top comments
moonmonkeyman 6
I think your dad is trying to tell you something. What that something is I don't know.
LolFMLnot 10
Thats every gay guy's dream dad right there.
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Comments (109)
jujubunni5 9
Oh my Interesting (:
micahsmommy 13
Do you really want to be with a girl who fancies other guys while she's with you? Better off without her and dad's advice. Have a couple drinks at the pub with your mates and then get back out there and meet a fabulous girl who will stay focused on you.
goddamniluvme 0
Lol u British ppl talk funny. "fancies, mates, and fabulous" u had this talk with ur dad to?
dominic1221 6
Threadjacking the 18th post? Now I've seen it all. Oops I meant, "u tlk pretteh fnny 2 liek a real tard boi lolz"
ManUrLifeSucks 1
Yeah... U got a great supporting father.. :/
loserboii 11
Either he had bad experience with women or he is just trying to put you down.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Or maybe he has a sense of humor? But that's just me, I don't now if anyone else thought so, too.
Shrike 24
Nah, more like a sense of humour.
zumiez069 5
That might be the firt dad that acually wants a gay son
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Problem?
onlychildFTW 34
There's no problem I can see
PlaidPanda 9
38- you're ******* annoying.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
70 - Congrats, did you expect me to give a shit? Sadly, it disappeared a long, long, long time ago. Nice try, though. *pets head*
jazzybaby179 22
So.... Did ya wank it?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes.
WordSmyth 2
No he took his dads first piece advice and spank'd it.
goddamniluvme 0
Wow... See that's why I choose not to talk to my dad. U never know what kinda shit is gonna spew out outta they're mouths.
THE_A_TEEN 28
He's glad you got dumped? He wanted a gay son? What a weird, possibly misanthropic dad...
mintstashinurtea 5
your father is a bright man, learn from him
jammy101 3
This by far my fav fml, fyl indeed!!!