Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
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Top comments
Fortuitous 0
Watch that become the next big thing in the carpet industry: The Silly Band Carpet, only available from Empire Today!
lildevil963 0
in da hood we wear dem getto silly bands tht only look like circles
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Comments (145)
Ruffles0120 0
#8 no wonder your name is Ignorance......kids get pleasure and fun outta the smallest most ridiculous things ever! but point is, it makes them happy!!!!
boyv 0
u know sily bands are made of recycled condoms
Elizabeth123654 0
Ignorance, I completely agree with you. They're useless, 5 minutes in the spotlight trend sort of thing. They're not gonna last, and when they fade out, we're the ones who're saying "We Told You So".
wriptidez 0
thats part of parenthood enjoy
bepe22 0
i cant wait tio see what your kid says
babylioncub 0
Thats what you get for buying into the latest idiotic trend for your kids :)
Norther 1
stupid shit. ydi for buying 'em/allowing her to buy 'em -.-
Amigara 0
YDI for having a carpet so close to the fireplace that it gets hot enough to melt rubber.
the_huldra 1
That's why you should move out of your trailer and buy wood floors.
Carlie_McCartney 1
Encourage it now! In a few years, she'll b saying, "But MUM! it's an ART FORM!"