Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
You've got to be kitten me right meow.
xZoeAmethystx 12
I'm so sorry. I hope there's enough time to get a new one.
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Comments (112)
buckdharma 38
That was their surprise wedding present. They altered the dress for you.
Fmlsea 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
something fishy about that, sounds like theres more to it other then just the cat . after all cats cant open doors .
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
The roommate had left the closet door open. As for the door to the room, I've seen cats open doors before. They jump and catch on to the handle so the momentum plus their weight opens the door.
lulubelles 33
18 you clearly haven't watched enough funny cat videos on YouTube, you'd be amazed at how dexterous cats can be.
therealafroninga 10
Cats are the spawn of satan. They can easily manipulate doors.
lovinlife028 24
18, you're a dumbass.
TrollingStalker 16
I think I'd be more upset with your roommate for leaving the door open. I mean, most cats will claw with anything. My old cat favorited walls, furniture, and human beings as scratching posts.
Alihb 16
Im interested to know why you have picture of Buscus as your icon
TrollingStalker 16
Because he's adorable.
geekbuscus 19
True story :)
NyQuilSausages 7
And that's why I don't have cats
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well I hope your roommate will have the decency to buy you a new wedding dress. You can't blame the cats, they acted according to their nature. She should have been more careful.
blink831forever 13
I'm sorry OP. That just really, really sucks. I hope you can get it all worked out before your wedding day.
chimcharx3 15
Make your roommate help pay for a new one. It's only fair if she made the mistake to help correct it.
brittyboo123 35
I hope your roommate is going to buy you a new one. Hope your wedding isn't too soon so you could find a new dress.
xStaciexLynnx 15
And this is why, at my job as a wedding planner, we tell all our brides to keep the dress at the shop as long as possible.
WaywardDaughter 26
Or at a house without cats. I had my mother-in-law hold onto my dress for this very reason.
kirdypie 14
OMG OP I'm sooo sorry!!! that's the worst thing ever! I hope she offers to replace it.
TheChelseaSays 34
Don't you just hate inconsiderate roommates? I would definitely kick her out or file a major complaint if the roommate system isn't up to you.
graceinsheepwear 34
File a major complaint with WHO exactly? Headquarters? Central?
RedPillSucks 33
World Hoe Organization Central Headquarters, commonly known as WHO Central HQ
graceinsheepwear 34
Oh yeah (face palm). WHO Central HQ. I forgot about them. Bureaucracy at its finest!
Bibliovore 26
Perhaps #34 was thinking in terms of dorm-mates.