Intimacy: Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived...

By Nicoleanne - 20/11/2016 14:08

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 489

You deserved it 13 294

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 3 351

By anon - 23/03/2011 04:56

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 732

You deserved it 3 934

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 108

You deserved it 72 723

May be

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 20:00

Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 142

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 74

By LovelySB - 21/04/2019 04:00

Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 716

By gypsy - 24/06/2011 02:00 - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 283

You deserved it 37 752

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 361

You deserved it 3 265

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 2 662

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 3 858

Tripartita 44

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:09

YDI. You had plenty of time to wrap the dirty dishes in the laundry and hang them from lighting fixtures, and to grab some tape and affix the ***** to the front doorknob. This is real estate 101.

WCARlover 34

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:05

That's a dildon't, OP :(

Comments

joeyl1990 28

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:02

You would think that the realtor would have texted you the night before or morning of to remind you.

marshm610 18

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:13

They might not be using a realtor. If they were, I'm sure the realtor would've done something about it since they want the sale just as much as the seller

cootiequeen4444 11

Sunday 27 November 2016 3:34

then how did the people get in the house? As OP arrived when "they were leaving".

slothstronaught 11

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:03

So in other words congrats on the sale!

WCARlover 34

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:05

That's a dildon't, OP :(

dannidoll93 24

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:07

Don't beat yourself up... Mistakes happen. Maybe it made the potential buyers be able to imagine what it would be like to live there? Who doesn't leave their ***** on the dresser from time to time, after all.

Tripartita 44

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:09

YDI. You had plenty of time to wrap the dirty dishes in the laundry and hang them from lighting fixtures, and to grab some tape and affix the ***** to the front doorknob. This is real estate 101.

Badatbest 10

Sunday 27 November 2016 3:09

Damn bro every comment you make is ******* fire what would smoky the bear think?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:12

Usually people leave fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies out to make potential buyers feel at home. The ***** made them think they were going to get ******!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:16

What a dick move!

mfmylifesrsly 29

Sunday 27 November 2016 10:15

just, stop.

GreedyGreedo 10

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:26

Plot Twist: It was their *****. DUN DUN DUN

texaskitty86 25

Sunday 27 November 2016 1:59

It let's potential buyers know what the house will really look like when they move in. let's just hope that while they were trying out the couch and chairs, going through your fridge and stealing from your medicine cabinet that they didn't also try out your toys.