Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML
Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
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Top comments
g_ayvel 11
I can only imagine what she would do if you told her in person
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I can see who wears the pants in the relationship XD But seriously, that sucks T_T
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Comments (285)
chris36taylor 2
Maybe she thinks of this as an April fools joke.
imma_re_27 1
HAHA.
ScarletBloom 14
She thought it was an April fool's joke.
mumgee 3
Wow man. Did she forget to take her meds?
perdix 31
It worked on George Costanza and it will likely work on you. If you ask her real nice, maybe she'll give your balls back to you so you can dump her.
SPAIDZ 0
lol. I refuse to give up on this relationship. It's like launching missiles from a submarine. Both of us have to turn our keys.
SirCharles83 13
Great reference Perdix. I immediately thought of Seinfeld when I read this FML.
Halti 4
legend
Cad6 24
I imagine this woman as one of these snooty, up-tight, annoying never-to-shut-up kind of person. I had to deal with one of these, and she followed me EVERYWHERE. Leave this country, before it's too late.
MonsterCommenter 4
You need to escape while you can, you dont want a pschyco girl-friend running around you.
StanSmith_fml 9
Lock her in the cellar for a month. Worked for my wife.
kyarush 10
Giggity!
StanSmith_fml 9
Because Francine is a beast in bed.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
~Insert Seth McFarlane Reference Here~
shaka_Z_0929007 10
Dude, change your name or leave the state. Shes psycho!
biancapaholak 0
You shouldn't have called!