Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Cloudy_fml 0
Maybe she meant "last time"... =/
henrymeows 0
hoes... keep your pimp hand strong
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Comments (39)
bethanyjk 0
Sucks
Bcfrmkc816 17
She didn't mean last time or think it was you or any of that other cr@p some people say she messed around and will do it again. Better off to get rid of her now than after marriage and she gets half of everything.
cwl727 33
I would go over tonight and surprise her.
JessBassett 24
that's just awful, no one deserves that!
LyricaSilvan 30
Any chance you've got a twin brother?
kittykat1501 31
Maybe it was a dream?