Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
You're one-fourth of his genes.. Technically he's 4x more of a waste.
qbkilla55 0
been missing my sister for 6 months, whats the number in her ear?
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Comments (86)
KiddNYC1O 22
Grandpa just had a Frank Barone moment. Give him food and SportsCenter and watch it subside.
KiddNYC1O 22
Who the **** thumbed this down?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
People who didn't like it.
skinflint 6
Y'all are misinterpreting his statement. Grandpa was saying that the girl is a hottie.
myFMLname 8
Am I the only one that doesn't get the FML?
ikickgingers 15
Possible scenario: Op aka MANDIE brought home her girlfriend. Grandpa OP is saying Making babies would be fun... Or the act because he'd possibly like to stick his Viagra filled dick into her vag/mouth/nose/ear/butt.. Mostly the vag. Alas no dick sticking because the FML involves two women and later possibly sperm and a turkey baster.
2ndSucks 15
Viagra dick in the ear? Kinky.
perdix 31
Was he referring to you or her? She could be a wonderful girl and be bemoaning the fact that she's going to waste her life with a schmuck like you.
DancinChikk 0
Ur grandpa is nice
cajunkid 0
**** you I'm from louisiana
iloveshim 14
Psh... It's Louisiana you guys what do you expect?...
DudeDude1313 4
The question: Was his comment directed at u or your gf… If it wuz directed at u your grandpas lame. If it was at your girlfriend he must be a complete jerk. Actually he would be both those things either way.
DudeDude1313 4
The question: Was his comment directed at u or your gf… If it wuz directed at u your grandpas lame. If it was at your girlfriend he must be a complete jerk. Actually he would be both those things either way.
DudeDude1313 4
The question: Was his comment directed at u or your gf… If it wuz directed at u your grandpas lame. If it was at your girlfriend he must be a complete jerk. Actually he would be both those things either way.