Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
You're one-fourth of his genes.. Technically he's 4x more of a waste.
qbkilla55 0
been missing my sister for 6 months, whats the number in her ear?
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Comments (86)
catharsis5 9
What are the chances that "Mandie" is a guy?
cooljcool 0
What's OP mean?
Epikouros 32
Oral Pleaser
SimoneDymond 3
Octopus Penis...
SimoneDymond 3
Octopus Penis...
spastiksarcastic 9
ovary puncher
StromyG2 10
What the heck does that mean?
MyS3lf 24
Good breeding stock? Wow, just wow. Guess you're a horse now or something? Good lord, that's just a little too old school for me.
awesomelikethat 0
Heh heh
linto101 0
Man she must be really pretty... Or your grandpa doesnt like you
DeafWolverine 8
Can't blame family for wanting to extend the family name and then be disappointed lol
LadyGore 12
Best fml ever.
loginword123 0
LAST
bethanyjk 0
Lol my mom n dad both dont like my bf, doesnt matter. They'll get over it n so will your grandpa.