Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
You're one-fourth of his genes.. Technically he's 4x more of a waste.
qbkilla55 0
been missing my sister for 6 months, whats the number in her ear?
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Comments (86)
malincake 7
She cant be that ugly if you are good looking. Pretty people date pretty people, and ugly people date ugly people!
bentleyGCspeed 0
And you date no one, because you are a stupid ho.. :)
mom2pen 4
And stupid people date stupid people
Freeze_fml 17
And intelligent people date stupid people. Unfortunately.
t765234 10
36 Yeah, unfortunately there are not enough hot smart girls.
GirlWithName1324 0
39- there aren't many intelligent guys either, hot nor ugly.
flockz 20
there's no smart sheep either.
Ranimal 12
#13, where the **** did you pull out that logical statement, your ass? Please for all of us, shut up.
nessaaahh 2
-_-
salsa324 0
Over powered statement. He's a meany!!
UberCookie 3
lol thats halirious! He is probally right.
thegr8destroyer 0
Lesbians FTW!
kittyfantastico 3
He probably thought it was a compliment. He's basically saying you're both attractive.
bubo_fml 11
Sounds like Gramps has got experience in Bovine Husbandry!!
zombiekitten87 12
Well, that was pretty rude of him. At least he didn't hit on her or try to convince her that she's so pretty she can get any man she wants.
Torva_fml 16
Just tell him she has a penis, problem solved.
freakinglaugher 10
Funny, that's how I solve all my family related problems. O_q
ikickgingers 15
My neighbors with the help of a sperm bank have the cutest effing little boy on the planet. Take turns getting pregnant if it gets that serious?
Tabisfabulous 0
Nicer lesbian also
SetoAyumi 7
Oh grandpa, making things uncomfortable and what not.