Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband bought me some new perfume. It wasn’t really my style but he insisted I try it. Afterward we had some of the best, most vigorous sex of our entire relationship. Later, while visiting his parents, I found the same perfume in his mom’s bathroom. It’s her 'special occasion' scent. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I sprayed a woman's perfume on a pillow, just so it would be easier for me to pretend I have someone to hug and cuddle with. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
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Top comments
Lizzy500 16
Take a shower, then give the perfume to.his hottest coworker?
CMYKorBust 7
I guess the husband repellent worked.
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Comments (50)
SteveBassist 20
Yeah, my girlfriend asked me to change my deodorant as it reminded her of her dad, who she doesn't get on with. I really liked that deodorant too!
janfleury 19
Be glad he couldn't get it up to you smelling like his Mum.
KriKat 2
Shower!!!! Shower now!!!! Buy whatever he likes! Take him other you to buy next fragrance. Good times will follow.
Ambitiousmould 8
At least he didn't tell you that you smelling like his mum helps him get it up.
NeneJPhilly 8
Your sense of smell ties you to people, places, things & memories. Although it sucks, it's not his fault. I suggest washing it off & maybe going back to your old perfume. Give the new one to his mom then take him shopping with you to pick out another one. Not only would he like you wanting his input but he gets to pick his favorite scent that he'll always associate with you. That's a win/win.
Shadow73 13
That seems fair to me. Hell, I can't even sleep with blondes, because all of the women I'm related to have blonde hair and it just feels weird. I've literally turned girls down for having the same name as my mother or sister. Olfactory recognition is not that weird a thing to limp your noodle.
dragoongirl90 34
ALWAYS check with your SO before buying a new fragrance to make sure they aren't going to be disgusted/turned off by it.