Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband bought me some new perfume. It wasn’t really my style but he insisted I try it. Afterward we had some of the best, most vigorous sex of our entire relationship. Later, while visiting his parents, I found the same perfume in his mom’s bathroom. It’s her 'special occasion' scent. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I sprayed a woman's perfume on a pillow, just so it would be easier for me to pretend I have someone to hug and cuddle with. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
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Top comments
Lizzy500 16
Take a shower, then give the perfume to.his hottest coworker?
CMYKorBust 7
I guess the husband repellent worked.
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Comments (50)
BadMadman 10
I would think this is a good thing. Would you feel better if he could get it up BECAUSE you smell like his mother?
Cebolamole 13
You should feel lucky! Imagine if the perfume had the opposite effect!
Saraishi 25
The reverse, him getting it up because you smell like his morher, would be alot more disturbing, so at least that's not an issue.
Danne696 14
Worst. Greek. Play. Ever.
OhPuhleeze 23
You have a few options... Like change his mother's perfume, or change his mother, or change him and get a new one, or have him hypnotised so he doesn't react that way or you could take a shower and get new perfume. You could opt for the easiest one or the one that boosts your ego.. Your call. Oh I almost forgot about prosthetics... Well, never mind.. This one is going to be burried by dislikes any way.
Druu 53
That's better than an over-aroused husband who can't stop getting it up because you smell like his mom.
URBeingLied2 23
That was kinda graphic ?
RainbowSnake 7
As a lot of teen boys do, both me and my boyfriend went through an Axe spray phase. Mine lasted a week. His got to the point where he was using so much the house smelled like it constantly and I couldn't stand it. Tried to be reasonable but he said "I don't smell anything, you're imagining it." Well one day he leaves for work and I take his axe spray and douse every room, especially the bedroom, as well as myself. Like soaked. He comes home and is like "damn what is that, it's terrible!" Needless to say he switched to Old Spice spray. ;)
Snuffleupaguss 15
It's better than him being able to get it up because you now smell like his mom..
hemiol 30
Hey, now you have a great christmas gift for his mom, save the money you would've spent on her and buy yourself a new perfume.
jimmyironic 9
lulz!