Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there's a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can't get it up because I smell like his mum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband bought me some new perfume. It wasn’t really my style but he insisted I try it. Afterward we had some of the best, most vigorous sex of our entire relationship. Later, while visiting his parents, I found the same perfume in his mom’s bathroom. It’s her 'special occasion' scent. FML
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I sprayed a woman's perfume on a pillow, just so it would be easier for me to pretend I have someone to hug and cuddle with. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
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Top comments
Lizzy500 16
Take a shower, then give the perfume to.his hottest coworker?
CMYKorBust 7
I guess the husband repellent worked.
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Comments (50)
colonel32 1
It would have been much worse if it was the other way around and he only could get it up when you used a perfume that would remind of his mother.
Goblin182 27
I guess that's better than his Mum buying a new perfume and your husband getting a boner because she smells like you.
acmariner99 25
Was that the goal?
dguzman92 12
certain smells can trigger memories...they aren't always great. sorry OP, maybe you can regift it?
RichardPencil 32
Would it have been better if he gave you the hottest, dirtiest sex of your life because you smell like his Mommy?
Levvy 22
That's a good point. A disturbing point, but a good one.
shitstorm28 11
discontinue use immediately.
carlgrimes47 13
try shower sex.
Levvy 22
I wouldn't quite say you deserve it, but I do sort of understand where he's coming from.
AkoChan 4
Funny how if a woman is not turned on its the mans fault, but if his wife does something to turn him off it'also his fault. News flash: man don't have to be at your disposal. It's your job too.
Setareh23 34
How is anyone saying he's at fault? All the comments are either making jokes or saying it's better than if he'd been turned on. There is literally even a comment above by a woman who explained she understood the husband because she was in the same situation but with genders reversed.
writergirl1029 17
OP didn't say it was her husband's fault either. I think she's just disappointed about the new perfume she bought not working.
Yudith_fml 11
Keep the perfume for when you're not in the mood.
Starlight8 14
It's her " I have a headache " perfume