Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

The fun never ends

Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

Hi guys

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

Added protein

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

Hello little guy

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML