Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
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Top comments
colton_colton 50
Well time to burn that hat
ColdRoxas 18
Well you got a present
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Comments (36)
sweetlysarcastic 3
Next time don't buy it at a Goodwill
cherry_popper69 11
First off, Some people can't afford clothing at higher prices for personal reasons. Good will is gently used clothing and is usually kept well for people in need
WCARlover 35
I would've never stuck my hand inside I would have shaken the hat over a table or something and let whatever it was fall out...you're braver than I ?
IamHercules 24
Was that a question?
WCARlover 35
No, I tried using an emoticon and it showed up at first but then it changed to a question mark
emmama19 15
I would have at least looked inside the hat before sticking my hand in, or flipped it inside out.
feven 32
At least it wasn't in your food
netflixislove 32
That's gross. Where did you get that hat?
Classy_Sassy_15 15
It's now the nope hat
henrylikestreats 22
Better dead than alive..
jelrid 30
Eee, that's disgusting! So gross! :O
martin8337 36
Welfare Santa hat?
ziggy_007 2
That happened to me with a claw machine stuffed animal..
timmeeeee 10
Maybe it wanted to check what its like, being a santa and all that!