Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
brittbaybiee 0
ewww
alley_cat_118 0
#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.
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Comments (1224)
xoconnie 8
omfg. ewww! wtf wtf wtf! and why would u bite his neck if he is a pimply boy.?!
superclumsy 0
ok so i read this FML like 5 months ago and it still haunts me.... so ****** gross....
zyymurgy 5
Better than biting into a cyst.
THAT_ONE_PUNKER 0
hahahah lmfao me 2 #5
sayheyyybabe 0
That's gross, but why were you biting his neck? Twilight vampire fantasy?
Sindy_fml 4
#16 LOOOOL nomnomnom
fmylif3xD 0
It's retards like this that make me puke, why the hell would u bite his neck in the first place? Screw Twilight, and New Moon. You're making girls retarded. If a girl bites my neck I'm sewing XD
xFrostyx 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ROFL! LMAO! L M A O R O T F L B T C S T C N D B F O O T W I F O A G W L L B G W T H R O O T S A I A K B A Y B If you are questioning yourself what it means.. "Laughing my ass off rolling on the floor biting the carpet, scaring the cat, nearly dying by falling out of the window in front of a guy who looks like Bill Gates, who then horrified runs out on the street and is accidentally killed by a yellow bulldozer." WRONG IN SOO MANY LEVELS.. SINCERELY, YOUR SCIENCE TEAHCER!
xFrostyx 0
... ps. PHYSICS.. NOT SCIENCE.. and WOMAN! HYGENIC MUCH??
oOMr_JonesOo 0
that is pretty revolting i must say. maybe your bf needs proactive?