Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML
Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
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Top comments
bombielol 20
just buy her a new one?
okay33 12
You flushed that chance away!
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Comments (92)
sdroze1389 31
am I the only person who considered OP wasn't smoking a cig but maybe a bowl. everyone just rushed in to drop their valuable opinions in how they feel about cigarettes.
BoriquaLove293 25
At least it's not lost haha
Shadow9876 19
This is the universe telling you it's time to stop smoking.
Surewhatever 36
Choosing to smoke is not a bright idea, but I don't think it should be illegal. I work in a hospital, and I see the aftereffects all the time. So many people dying young. So many people out in their wheelchairs because they can't get past the addiction. Also, so much trouble for the staff because they insist on their right to smoke and cause inconvenience to everyone around. And extra hospital bills. Also, although I live in the states, the hospital I work at cannot legally turn someone away. So many people are being treated for free, and taxpayers get the bill. It's just a very unfortunate thing. On the other hand, when something truly shitty happens- a cigarette can really calm me down. So temporarily helpful, at least for me. It can just be a very selfish habit to have and it would be great if people saw it that way and stopped to try to make the world better for everyone.