Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML
Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML
Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
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Top comments
Phalankx 0
Shoulda played dead for a while
plaidrabbit 0
I'm going to assume that by "making a lot of noise," you meant banging on stuff and maybe throwing something, because if you were vocalizing, you weren't really choking. But still, I know how scary that feeling is, and it sucks your mom was a bitch about it.
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Comments (189)
fatfaceunited 0
maybe she wanted you to choke and die
haleyneal 0
u just sound like a bitch in dhis comment
ilikeboys 0
it's a pill, i'm sure you would've lived.
Cittenscollar 0
Were you making noise by coughing? If you were, you weren't choking and were fine.
booze_n_bitches 37
If you make a noise while coughing it's called a partial obstruction, and is still choking and still requires back slaps or abdominal thrusts.
anonymuse_fml 31
In First Aid they teach you to just encourage coughing if it's only a partial obstruction. Back pats are not recommended and abdominal thrusts are only for full obstructions when the person is still conscious.
ravinderkaler 0
Just ignore her next time she's in trouble.
Seigen_Tsuki_720 0
wow, that sucks fyl
yahoo4u 0
umm, if she was in the room couldn't you just like grab her hand or something to let her know? She was on the phone so she wasn't really paying attention to her kid that is fail and doesn't know how to swallow a pill. If you can choke and throw yourself over a chair at the same time, I am sure you can choke and walk over to your mother. Nevertheless, I hope you are okay. Next time, get chewables. FYL
feitan98 13
You are in idiot. (No other words needed, aside from these)
darkwar4ever 0
#4, it's easier if you get someone to just cuff you in the back instead of potentially breaking your neck by throwing yourself at a chair. ._.
mehwhateverr 0
#17 ftw.
ugliy 0
if you were REALLY CHOKING you would NOT BE MAKING NOISE duh please look it up
youknowimright 5
Umm noises can be made that dont require breath or air. such as clapping or snapping your fingers
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
You're a ******* dumbass. She never said said that she made vocal noises. I'm pretty sure you can still hit shit while choking and choking makes a noise. CPR certified. Know my shit.
danandphil 12
you might know your shit but you don't need to be rude about it...explain and move on. jeez
annahoward 0
ahm, of course you can make noises if you are choking. they are not loud, but still, can get someone's attention.
ShadowlessSilenc 1
If you are choking then no air passes through your windpipe at all and so you can't vocalise or cough. It's a common misconception that you can cough though, so this may be what she meant. In which case it sucks but her life wasn't in danger at all.