Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bengermin 5
Pow!! Right in the kisser!
DrDilllonReese 12
Aweee, how sweet!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
jsturaveragegirl 5
aaaaand.....pie face!
MichellinMan 20
God damn it's not PIE! your the second I've corrected.
DocBastard 40
God damn it, it's "you're", not "your"! You're the 1,584th I've corrected.
MichellinMan 20
Dearest Docbastard, I'm about as smart as Forrest Gump... You keep track of how many people you correct? Now that, is epic.
MichellinMan 20
64- nope, I didn't, but it wasn't incorrect.
MichellinMan 20
80- either you are straight retarded, or you are 7 years old. A comma there is correct, and it doesn't have to be after an introductory. I asked my English teacher in 9th grade if it was correct. Your a god damn moron.
SkardeyKat 3
80 - I read it like it was just supposed to be a pause, as in "now that (pause) is epic". Of course I could be wrong and probably am, but that's how I read it.
skata 4
97- I could be wrong, but I believe as the writer, you can take creative license to place a comma where you want a pause in the sentence, like right there.
False_Stupidity 42
But it adds a dramatic pause...
Bcfrmkc816 17
Your bit average your over the edge and wam pie to the face
alexchiltonLC 7
Who cares!!!!
MichellinMan 20
TheIsland- well, ask my teacher that I've asked. Yea, you were a dick for pointing that out. Apology excepted. Don't burn any more Jews, please.
siickman 7
Simply a lawl ... Thats all i can say .. Just lawl >.
MichellinMan 20
All I can say is no.
Milk_Moon 0
It must be love looove love. Nothing more nothing less pie in the faace.
DocBastard 40
This calls for revenge. Tell him you're going to have a kinky evening and tie him to the bed naked. Then just leave for a few hours. What an immature twat.
Enslaved 38
Even better if you give him a little strip tease show and force him to watch helplessly before you take off. Hahaha!
bizarre_ftw 22
42 - yes 28 - you mean twit. A twat is a ******.
HeavyScout 0
70- True fact: a twit is a pregnant goldfish. Don't believe me? Look it up (unless my world renounced biology teacher is lying to me). So I think twat is more appropriate for this scenario.
ambamm135 7
Even better have a Justin Beiber pandora radio station on while he is tied to the bed as well. Now that would be revenge!
DoctorWhooves 6
Sounds hilarious! Though the being locked out isn't cool.
valleyshooter 8
that'll keep you on your toes.
Jamicianprince 1
Know how you feel
doogy15 11
Ways to break up lol
siickman 7
You. Look. Like. Snooki...... :O
Enslaved 38
Come on! This prank seems epic. You just need to make sure it's done to the right person with a great sense of humor. In my case, I'll have to leave a trail of money. (: