Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
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Top comments
bengermin 5
Pow!! Right in the kisser!
DrDilllonReese 12
Aweee, how sweet!
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Comments (148)
master1427 1
Was the pie good?
kidwiththeface42 7
As long as you're sure it was whipped cream...
ShakiraShakira 7
hahahahaha sounds like the jackass moment when johnny knoxville hits bam in the face with a giant hand :L
Milk_Moon 0
One of the greatest moments in all jackass history.
scarletlily_fml 3
Your ex-boyfriend, you mean. If my bf ever did that to me, he'd find himself single so fast his head would spin. What an ass.
TardxxxCake 4
Wow 15, you're a shallow and selfish bitch who can't take a joke. Continue that bullshit and you'll end up alone forever.
siickman 7
If you broke up with him cuz of that... Well you really didnt care for him in the first place...... You dont know the full story behind this fml ... Maybe she pulled a prank on him and this is revenge or something
tona01 16
I think both of you are to extreme. The joke was funny, but it shows how OP's boyfriend has no respect for her.
bizarre_ftw 22
30 - exactly
Sierz 0
Ex? That might be going too far, I would not be too impressed if my bf did this, but I'm sure we would laugh about it one day
Ch0sen 13
15 - your boyfriend must be amazingly boring
ambamm135 7
Really you mist be a boring person my bf and I do things like this all the time to each other! It's all just a bit of fun. Get that log out of your ass, sheesh!
scarletlily_fml 3
I can take jokes. I just don't think it's funny to be hit in the face with a pie. Is the OP's boyfriend 15 or something?
exleonhart 0
122- did you just drop a sheesh?!
cobalttanker 14
Hey bitch, it's funny!!! Go find a sense of humor!!!
NitroTonicsFML 4
Cream pied.
reddawn85 8
Your boyfriend is a boss
ImOlivia 5
Lol! Well then get him back somehow. Prank wars!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Nobody ever pays me in creampies. :(
hamncheeseinit 6
Creampie ;)
raphanne_fml 33
Hey! Thanks for the idea! I've got to try this! But the locked outside part, not so much...