Today, I attempted to score with a previous friend-with-benefits by sending her a photo of my Christmas present, bondage rope. She arrived an hour later in a mad panic. She thought I was going to hang myself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends. She didn't know which one I was. FML
Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML
Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
Today, my wife faked being kidnapped. She composed a ransom letter and made calls from her phone screaming for help frantically and hanging up. I got the cops involved. Turns out it was all a scam, because she “wanted to see what I’d do” because apparently she “hasn’t been feeling loved” lately. FML
Today, I was sending screenshots to my best friend about a guy who'd screwed me over. I sent the screenshots to him instead. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML
Today, an old friend of mine texted me, saying we should hang out. I thought it was really sweet and was excited to see her again, until she realized that she was texting the wrong person, and canceled our plans immediately. FML
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Top comments
corky1992 33
At least she still cares enough to try and stop you
Laphog 17
Would love to know who originally gifted you that .
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Comments (30)
lemonlaide 9
Idiot.
MissPanda85 5
Unless she lives far away, she didn't get to OP very quickly! Lol also, you'd think she'd try to call first, or call someone that lived closer to check on OP if she was really that worried.
squizzlebee 19
Maybe she didn't read the text straight away.
oreo00 14
I'm asking a stupid question here, but are friends-with-benefits actually a thing?
ellabellaboom 24
Yes, it is...lol can't help but think that this was a good question for Google or something though.
sillymama 21
Yes. Yes they are. Google is a great place to look for them.
arrivingstorm122 9
*to your friend* well...now that you're here....
sturschaedel 27
If I lived far enough to need an hour to get there, only to find out that instead of a suicide thread it was a booty call, I'd use said rope to tie OP to the bed naked, leave, and put a post up on social media for his friends and family to go find him.
TheOtherOneGuy 12
today, I got a picture from a previous friend-with-benefits of a rope. after a mad panic and a one hour drive, turns out it was a bondage rope. fml.
imfineright 4
Well she cared for you at least
wolfenstein42 1
A for effort.
Pogo4lyfe 1
Haha, awww, that's cute. I hope her relief put her in the mood.
jvanevery 19
I just lol'd so hard too!!